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Wrote for Letterman, Conan, and The Simpsons. At times, very funny. Marriage Officiant. Dead ass. El Barrio NYC

Manhattan, NY
Joined April 2019
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Everyone talks shit about the 1% but 1% of my followers “like” my tweets… I love ‘em
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Im famous
wow!! un abrazoooo desde la isla 🩵
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I iron my body hair after showers
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Mic check…1,2,1,2
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Someone is blasting Mask Off by Future at 6:46am EST
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Cigarettes after sex? Poops after showers are my jam
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The bechdel test should be updated
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Just blew my nose with toilet paper then proceeded to wipe my butt with said tp
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I don’t think new years, I think rent is due
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I’ve lost the will to tweet
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Gonna unsubscribe from all these Onlyfans. Hope I’ve helped who I could. I will now use my money to start an IRA
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I’m post-fat, pre-diabetic
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I’m still fat-ish. Just thought this thought was funny
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Im usually tired tomorrow by yesterday
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May start tweeting again in 2024
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Alicia keys was forced to play the piano because of her last name
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Two career paths. That or JANITOR
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I hate it when I eat a pb&j and for the rest of the day my burps smell like nut
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Damn, I thought this was funny
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Eco-friendly is rich ppl cosplaying as poor
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