turbo

Ya boi is back on this bitch

Well shit I guess since Elon bought this, it's time for me to use this shit again

Roommate: How do you spell Guy Fawkes? Me: *Spells it right immediately* Roommate: What the fuck? @wisewordwheeler

Rommmate to me: "You're the only person I know who can leave someone on read in person."

I promise you all, no one gives a shit about what you listen to, so please for the love of god, stop putting your spotify decade wrap on your story. That is all

Why do people always look at me weird when I say I want a black iced coffee?

Not even 10 and someone threw up 3 times in my bathroom, spilled 2 beers on the carpet and floor, and for some reason a whole ass pizza was in my toliet. Holy shit man

48 hours of duty starting tomorrow, team fucking no sleep.

This whole Epstein suicide is as suspicious as a nun doing squats in a cucumber field.

When you haven't seen your long distance girlfriend in a while

*Me almost two weeks sober* Roommate: Drink that beer or I'll use the can to open your head! Me: You're ending my sobriety! Roommate: That's what friends are for! Me: .................