I don’t talk about this a lot, but it’s a part of my story. My uncle died by liver cirrhossis according to doctor's postmotern results,mind you,he was warned by the same doctors to quit alcohol due to how damaged his liver was.He had been struggling with addiction for a long time,since he was a teenager.For a long time, I didn’t know how to make sense of that. I was hurt, and I was confused. I used to think that he chose drugs over the family. I had a lot of questions that never got answers. I had a ton of what ifs. People don't understand how someone could leave their family like that. Or why anyone would do that.I used to think like that too. I used to be really angry with him. Until I started struggling myself. I felt what it’s like to be inside your own head and not feel safe there. That’s when it changed for me. Because my uncle wasn’t just an addict. He was a human being in pain. A kind of pain you don’t know how to explain to people. A pain you don’t even fully understand yourself. I understand him more now than I ever wanted to. There were moments in my life, where everything felt too heavy. My thoughts got dark. Where I didn’t want to feel what I was feeling anymore. That’s a scary place to be. Especially when you feel like you can’t talk about it. Or you don’t want to worry anyone. Or you don’t even know how to explain it or put it into words. Addiction wasn’t the whole problem, but how he coped with what he was feeling.I see that now, because I did the same thing. I used substances to escape. To numb out, and quiet my mind. I didn’t know how to sit with what I felt. There were times I didn’t think I’d make it out either. Cells became my frequents visit rooms, psych wards, overdoses. I got really close to losing everything. Including my life. So when I say this hits deep, I mean it. Losing my uncle didn’t just hurt, but showed me how real this is. How dangerous silence is. How much people hide. How many people are walking around smiling, while they’re falling apart inside.There’s so much I wish I could say to him now. Things I didn’t understand back then. Like you weren’t a burden. You weren’t too far gone. You didn’t have to go through that alone. If you’re reading this right now and you’re struggling even a little, you are not too far gone. I don’t care what you’ve done, or how stuck you feel.That feeling, it can pass. But you have to give yourself the chance. Talk to someone or text someone. Say something. Even if it feels uncomfortable, and you don’t know what to say. Staying silent is what keeps people stuck. If you’ve lost someone to this, I’m so sorry. That kind of pain doesn’t go away. You just learn how to carry it.I carry my uncle with me every day. In the way I live. In the way I speak. The way I refuse to stay quiet about things like this. If sharing this helps even one person feel less alone or stay one more day, then it's worth it to me. You don’t have to explain anything if this hit you. Just know you’re not alone.