We’re also taking emails on the big question…

"Oh, you combined the card with the handshake! I used to do that but kept getting it wrong. Gave a papercut to a man from Nestlé."

“Guess which one of you two ladies I'm going to make love to now?”

“The sort of dog the Nazis used to chase Steve McQueen. They're trained and very right-wing.”

“We’re having a hoedown! I’m down. But I’m not a hoe.”

“Why am I so massive?”

“Stop laughing! You’re laughing at war!”

“I give them to all ladies I know aged fifty and under. Over fifty just seems sarcastic.” Shop: etsy.me/2RWdqOm

I like South Africa. I hated those people who wouldn’t trade with you in the 80s. I carried on buying your tomatoes all through that period. You say tomato, I say tom-ay-to. You say to-mar-toe! Let’s call the whole thing a thoroughly nice chap, and doesn’t matter what race he is.

“Can I just shock you?…”

Knowing me, Liz Truss, SACKING you, Kwasi Kwarteng. A-ha!

“Chaos with Ed Miliband…”