Poppy Carlton

Feeling a bit burnt out. I’m taking a break from Twitter to concentrate on my texting.

Mummy was a great goalkeeper in school. She just stared at whoever had the ball and said ‘I know what you did with Abigail in the bunks.’

I think my favorite American food is Chinese food.

I think we learned a valuable lesson from that bird: don’t waste time on lost causes.

We found a bird in the garden with a broken wing and cared for it all weekend, only for it to die on Monday, very selfish of it.

Maybe then he wouldn’t have grown up to be such a troublemaker.

I’d have been a much better mother for Jesus than Mary. When I was nine months pregnant, I wouldn’t have gone on holiday.

I’m afraid of water, because it reminds me of gin, which reminds me of Mummy.

Love is when you’re jealous of another person for getting all your attention.

I need a white noise machine when I travel. It’s hard to fall asleep without the soft, gentle sound of Mummy’s weeping.

I’d like a job where I can take my work home with me and never bring it back.

My favorite season is spring. That’s when you get to fly kites, which is how electricity was invented. It has something to do with rainbows?

Sounds lovely! I want to be a fair weather fan. The kind that folds up into a stick and has an advert on one side teapawt.net/sselinPaul/status/6985…

I’m trying to find a job that properly uses my skills. Does anyone have a copy of the Queen’s LinkedIn?

Oh god I don’t know if I can handle work and a truck at the same time teapawt.net/TraceeAnnaBelle/status…

The Bad Angel But She’s Bad in a Good Way, But Not in a Bad Way, Because That’s Actually Bad Someone help please teapawt.net/CosmicSyzygy/status/69…

We own a lot of things made from animals. bearskin rug, elephant foot wastebin, a very old book with a dustjacket we’re not to talk about.

I think I was just born with the gift, like Stephen Fry or David Cameron teapawt.net/tmatthewdavis/status/6…

I love the Kardashians! My favorite is Kanye Kardashian. He’d be brilliant if he just had more self-esteem. teapawt.net/skuncle/status/6968435…

Seems a big mistake to get good at something only to turn and teach someone else. Then no one needs you around any more.