Promoted and Failed (@Promoted_Failed) profile picture

Promoted and Failed

@Promoted_Failed

Former wildly-unsuccessful theme account

Joined September 2013
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  • Followers44
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@michaeljnelson @clastowka uh oh, some greenhorn federal agent opened the Chuck Hamlin cold case fortune.com/2017/03/02/cater…

Federal Officials Raid 3 Caterpillar Offices in Illinois | Fortune

The company's stock fell on the news

fortune.com
that's been debunked many, many times. The main diary is in wet ink. Only ball point writing was a couple pre-publication notes
it's found a new home on an equally annoying commercial with over-indulgent hipster parents m.youtube.com/watch?v=GryeYe…
the world's Progressives are doing such amazing things, no clue how someone like trump got elected teapawt.net/theonion/status/801466…
The Onion (@TheOnion) profile pictureThe Onion
@TheOnion23 Nov 2016
Sweden Debuts ‘Mansplaining’ Hotline trib.al/ZOjZrAT #WhatDoyouThink?
Image from The Onion (@TheOnion)
- using Pokéballs teapawt.net/mental_floss/status/79…
Mental Floss (@mental_floss) profile pictureMental Floss
@mental_floss18 Nov 2016
Scientists Make Antibiotics from Bacteria Found in the Human Body — bit.ly/2gpJqLp
Image from Mental Floss (@mental_floss)
.@NeilHamburger shocking teapawt.net/laist/status/799376677…
LAist (@LAist) profile pictureLAist
@LAist17 Nov 2016
Former Taco Bell Exec Who Drunkenly Attacked Uber Driver Gets 60 Days In Jail laist.com/2016/11/17/benjami…
Image from LAist (@LAist)
Promoted and Failed retweeted
ClickHole (@ClickHole) profile picture
ClickHole
@ClickHole18 Nov 2016
Incredible: Soldier Surprises His Family By Returning To Afghanistan During His Son’s Football Game vine.co/v/5Tw7ZvdXiB3
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still my favorite post-election Oniony article teapawt.net/clickhole/status/79906…
ClickHole (@ClickHole) profile pictureClickHole
@ClickHole17 Nov 2016
A New Era: Donald Trump Just Whispered ‘Hope You Like To Make Ham, Motherfucker’ To A White House Chef clckhl.co/V49nXij
Image from ClickHole (@ClickHole)
Promoted and Failed retweeted
ClickHole (@ClickHole) profile picture
ClickHole
@ClickHole15 Nov 2016
A New Era: Donald Trump Just Whispered ‘Hope You Like To Make Ham, Motherfucker’ To A White House Chef clckhl.co/xYDU49a
Image from ClickHole (@ClickHole)
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Promoted and Failed retweeted
ClickHole (@ClickHole) profile picture
ClickHole
@ClickHole14 Oct 2016
The Situation In Syria Is A Mess, And This Is Coming From A Guy Who Has Seen His Fair Share Of Messes clckhl.co/1pTF7s0
Image from ClickHole (@ClickHole)
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MachinePix (@MachinePix) profile picture
MachinePix
@MachinePix25 Sep 2016
Water in laminar flow (or streamline flow) has no cross-currents, eddies, or swirls.
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wow, someone more antisocial than me teapawt.net/mental_floss/status/78…
Mental Floss (@mental_floss) profile pictureMental Floss
@mental_floss25 Sep 2016
William Faulkner once refused a dinner invitation from Kennedy's White House, explaining that 100 miles was "a long way to go just to eat."
Image from Mental Floss (@mental_floss)
Replying to @mental_floss
.@mental_floss TLDR: November #
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All while doing ham-fisted takes to the camera? teapawt.net/mental_floss/status/77…
Mental Floss (@mental_floss) profile pictureMental Floss
@mental_floss15 Sep 2016
This Guy Is Going to Wear All the Trash He Produces for a Month on His Body — bit.ly/2cmPpMM
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"I love you" teapawt.net/mental_floss/status/77…
Mental Floss (@mental_floss) profile pictureMental Floss
@mental_floss31 Aug 2016
11 Sounds That Your Kids Have Probably Never Heard — bit.ly/15cXBmq
Image from Mental Floss (@mental_floss)
- any stoner after 3 tokes teapawt.net/mental_floss/status/77…
Mental Floss (@mental_floss) profile pictureMental Floss
@mental_floss31 Aug 2016
"The future is keeping you out of the present time." —Van Morrison, who was born on this day in 1945
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Promoted and Failed retweeted
ClickHole (@ClickHole) profile picture
ClickHole
@ClickHole30 Aug 2016
Jif Is Rolling Out Empty Jars Of Peanut Butter For Children Who Are Allergic But Still Want The Jars clckhl.co/0Sgnzlb
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Replying to @TheOnion
teapawt.net/emilyolafson/status/76…
guys, if Poochie can do it, you can too teapawt.net/nicorette/status/76881…
Nicorette&NicoDermCQ (@nicorette) profile pictureNicorette&NicoDermCQ@nicorette25 Aug 2016
You don’t have to quit alone. Get free daily support today. This fall, quit smoking. For you. #Selftember teapawt.net/cards/1jwo…
Lefties creative enough to artistically survive after their sleeve tattoo gets them shunned by the corporate world! teapawt.net/mental_floss/status/76…
Mental Floss (@mental_floss) profile pictureMental Floss
@mental_floss13 Aug 2016
Are Lefties Really More Creative? — bit.ly/2b5zPUV #LeftHandersDay
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