@QAHatesYou

A Software Testing / Technical Writing consultant with an edge. And a bludgeon.

qahatesyou.com
Joined July 2009
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177Media
My current contract ends on Thursday. Who needs a hand with testing or documentation?
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Me, learning to program: Like a monkey, sitting at a typewriter, waiting for the Shakespeare to start.
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At this point, I would settle for some Ben Jonson. Maybe some almost Ben Jonson. Every Monkey In His Humour, perhaps.
My co-workers did not ask to hear the complete works of a-ha at top volume, but I have blessed them with it anyway.
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Several cells in the spreadsheet involve me vetting the code in a 40-year-old language. Wait, what?
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This programming language looks like machine language and C had an illicit liaison yielding an heir.
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I can recognize the comments in this forty-year-old language, though. ; i dont know why but this seems to work Timeless.
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Use a marker to draw a diagonal line on the edge of your punchcards so you can easily put them back in order if you drop them. #ObsoleteProTips
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I would like to have a word with the person who decided that Pass and Fail in the spreadsheet had to be a drop-down list that I have to click and choose for every step in the 83 step test. That word: PAIN.
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Oh, goody! A spreadsheet containing a list of tests whose steps are inscrutible shorthand abbrvtd by someone who's moved on. Of course it's an emergency, and I should run all these tests right now.
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We need a meta spreadsheet that lists all the spreadsheets we have. Ha! Just kidding. Of course we have one, and we get together on a conference call every two weeks to go through it.
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I dub this methodology ConPro: Constant Process. No result, but the process itself rolls on eternally.
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My favorite SQA Automation Job Posting now offers this fix: "Ability & motivation to work a minimum of 55 hrs per week, finishing at 5 PM ET Mon to Fri" Which means you'll have to start at 6AM ET Mon to Fri at least; earlier if you need to work more than 55 a week. SIGN ME UP!
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"Full Stack Engineer" means an engineer whose code is exclusively cut-and-paste from Stack Exchange. Which is why Item data is stored in the Book object.
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You can't spell absquatulate with QA. Not that you often have cause to spell absquatulate.
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Even though I've been in this business for <mumbled number> years, every day I'm a walk-on rookie.
Can someone help me? I want to set this video as my signature block in Outlook. Thanks! youtube.com/watch?time_conti…
These projections not only count the chickens before they've hatched; they also count the chickens before they're eggs.
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Goal for the day: Call someone a erinaceous qualtagh. Stretch goal: Call someone a floccinaucinihilipilificated erinaceous qualtagh.
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Best to do it on Twitter or in an email, though, as the odds of me pronouncing it correctly is non-zero, but very close.
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