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Eeek!! Where's me body???..I is just a floaty head!!! 🙀🙀🙀🙀

Oh nuts..wench has verbal diarrhoea & dad's not here, me poor ears..topic is how she is a crap magnet..examples include her phone being hacked on Saturday/being peed on by a dog at a festival/wife to widow in 9 months/butt hives & scabby knockers..she might have a point..🙀🙀

I has very mixed feelings about this chin scritch...it feels rather splendid but I know the wench is using her butt scratcher to do it..🙀🙀🙀

Ooo I has midnight munchies..and the wench says I has to tell you that she has been replyin to all your lovely comments but the replies is failin to send 🙀🙀🙀

Crikey..I has had a fantabulous belated birthday..huge thank you for all your love and messages..love and Mahoosive hugs xxx 💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞

HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY 🎂 TO ME!! ..technically it was 9 days ago, it's taken the wench and dad this ruddy long to do me decorations!!!! 🎂💖😻♥️😻💖🎂

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Sunday afternoon snoozies 💕💤💕💤

Enjoyin a spot of supper last night..❤️❤️❤️

Morning me lovelies 💖😻❤️

Me earlier, very peed off with the wench cos she wouldn't let me sit on the kitchen roll covering where she had cleaned up me barf 😾😾😾

This is me earlier listenin to the wench bang on about the good old days...😹😹😹

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Mum has forgiven Dad for being a 'monumental d*ckhead' but he's still banned from coming here at the weekend cos he's got manflu..he's gonna miss me birthday 🎂!!!! 🙀🙀🙀🎂🎂

Wench health update..her scabby knockers are on the mend but still has hives on her rump, she's scratchin like a gorilla with nits..not sure the dodgy 70s 'special interest' adult film noises she makes are needed though!!🙀🙀🙀

Looks yummy apart from the cheapo nasty sausages..what are they made of, mushed up baboon as*holes?? 🙀🙀🙀

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