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Me: Get me a phone book.
Wife: *laughed at me* You're so old. Just use my phone.
So I slammed her phone against the wall to kill a spider.
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Anyone can win at life.
You just need guts and money.
And family help.
And no morals.
And a place to hide the bodies.
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Some people teach you about love. Others teach you why loving yourself must come first.
The most beautiful relationship is one where both people can grow without making the other feel left behind.





















