Ratchet Humor

@johnbrodish hey John, send me a DM

Love? F*ck that. HeartBreaks? I had that. Chances? I gave that. Going back? Im past that. Moved on? Believe that. Miss you? F*ck that.

Going to McDonald's for a salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug.

Bitch so ugly even hello kitty said goodbye

Hoes be tryna shave their head to look like Amber Rose, but end up lookin' like Caillou..

Oh Lord, this girl better rewind her attitude before I fast forward her ass whooping....

Ghost hunters: "Can you communicate with us?" *Door creeks* Ghost hunters: "Oh so your name is William?"

#ReasonsWhyWeDontGetAlong You're Ratchet.

I don't care how old you are, if you don't respect me I'm not respecting you.

\(�.�\) \(�_�)/ (/�.�)/ Swerve. (/�.�)/ \(�_�)/ \(�.�\) Swerve. \(�.�\) \(�_�)/ (/�.�)/ Swerve. (/�.�)/ \(�_�)/ \(�.�\) Swerve.

If I was stranded on a desert island and I could only bring 1 thing, I would bring Dora. That hoe has everything in that backpack.

My ex? Yea I'd still hit that....with a bat.

Girl: Baby Take Me Some Where Expensive! Boy: Okay *Pulls Into Gas Station* Girl: WHY WE STOP HERE!! Boy: BITCH! You See Those Prices

Smile at the hoes who hate you.

Oomf can get it now, next week, tomorrow, tomorrow morning, tomorrow night and should've got it yesterday.

"What does IDK mean?" "I don't know." "OMG NOBODY KNOWS!"

Burger: $0.99 Salad: $5.99 And you wonder why everyone is fat.

#WhyDoYouThinkItsOkayTo Cheat?

Work hard, play harder. Stay humble.