Ricky Arias

Sports announcer catchphrase: “That’s ball, folks!”

Saw crawled so escape rooms could run.

If you call things gay you should do those things during pride month

Thought this rumspringa would involve more rum

You’re telling me Christ is rizzin’?

Yo wtf is blue raspberry flavor

The Poor: Money’s tight 😞 The Rich: Money’s tight 😎

Pinterest as a cloud solution

The shame I feel when I type in the wrong password and I’m waiting for the computer to realize it

I’m the Ernest Hemingway of working after hours (I’m drunk while I do it)

Feelings are physical. Maybe they’re called that because you feel them (sense them physically) like you’d feel a piece of fabric.

Is “Master P” short for “masterpiece”?

Weird the Elvis movie didn’t include the part where Forrest Gump taught him to dance

It’s so awkward Cops is exclusively streaming on Fox Nation.

What if the government paid for every other type of insurance (life, pet, home, auto, etc.) but not health insurance

If I lived in apt/unit 305 I would call myself mr 305

Only the sweetest sperm whales have squid fighting scars

Doing things mainly to have discussion topics for my next haircut