Sup twitzerland

yoooooo this new @X logo had me trying to make a tweet from the @Xfinity website

imagine your DJ bf gets down on one knee and says "trynna collab?"

friendly reminder: margarita pitchers are only $20 on monday at holy taco.

a first date is basically like getting a drunk job interview

"you really do deserve your own podcast" -me flirting

where is the party tonight?

wanna come over and video me throwing furniture off my back deck?

anyone wanna talk about 505 Day?

I enjoy drinking tequila and reminding you how amazing you are.

if anyone wants to ditch their plans and eat Waffle House in sweat pants later, hmu

Sometimes people are sent to remind you how great it is to be single.

Imagine you got a job at a legendary venue that was closing in 1 year. wyd?

why would I go to therapy when it's cheaper to start a podcast?

I must be making it look easy cuz people keep asking me to borrow money.

consistency is the new black

My love language is explaining why I’m late

ATL got a sepia tone filter on it rn, fr fr no cap.

We suggest enjoying a @CocaCola & a @sweetwaterbrew on your @Delta flight to #Atlanta for #404DAY #404DAY2023 404DAY.com