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BREAKING: Permanent cure for male-pattern baldness. Cosmo has released its Phase III trial results for the new Clascoterone 5% solution, showing highly promising outcomes as the treatment delivered a 539% increase in hair growth compared to placebo.

Ahem: Hey chat, this list has some rizz. (Did we do that right?) Here are the top trending “Why do kids say…” searches from the U.S. this year — the queries that saw the highest increase in search interest compared to last year: 1. 67 2. Sigma 3. 41 4. Skibidi 5. Ohio

Stop AI is deeply committed to nonviolence and protecting human life by achieving a permanent global ban on artificial superintelligence. Earlier this week, one of our members, Sam Kirchner, betrayed our core values by assaulting another member who refused to give him access to funds. His volatile, erratic behavior and statements he made renouncing nonviolence caused the victim of his assault to fear that he might procure a weapon that he could use against employees of companies pursuing artificial superintelligence. We prevented him from accessing the funds, informed the police about our concerns regarding the potential danger to AI developers, and expelled him from Stop AI. We disavow his actions in the strongest possible terms. We are an organization committed to the principles and the practice of nonviolence. We wish no harm on anyone, including the people developing artificial superintelligence. Later in the day of the assault, we met with Sam; he accepted responsibility and agreed to publicly acknowledge his actions. We were in contact with him as recently as the evening of Thursday Nov 20th. We did not believe he posed an immediate threat, or that he possessed a weapon or the means to acquire one. However, on the morning of Friday Nov 21st, we found his residence in West Oakland unlocked and no sign of him. His current whereabouts and intentions are unknown to us; however, we are concerned Sam Kirchner may be a danger to himself or others. We are unaware of any specific threat that has been issued. We have taken steps to notify security at the major US corporations developing artificial superintelligence. We are issuing this public statement to inform any other potentially affected parties.