'' α΄‘ΙͺΙ΄α΄α΄Κ ΚΙͺκ±α΄κ± κ°Κα΄α΄ ππ©π¨πππ₯π²π©π¬π, α΄Ι΄α΄ α΄Κα΄ ΚΙͺΙ’Κα΄'κ± πππ₯π’π©π¬ππ κ°Κα΄α΄ α΄α΄.. ''
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Joined May 2023
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π₯ // officially two months. i wanna kill the gods, but it's not their fault. they know im angry and hurting but they love me still. im grateful for them.
π₯ // clinking. its constant. pisses me off. fucking thing needs to be quiet. don't wanna fuck with it in case it starts making a screeching noise again. i have enough i gotta buy this month.
π₯ // probably another fuck up i did myself.. talked too much, maybe got the date and time wrong. all those. most definitely my fault still. shouldn't go blaming others for my failures.
π₯ i got too hopeful, and once again, it came back to bite me in the ass. whatever. don't mean much to me anyways. nothing does anymore.
π₯ // nothing can hurt you if you're too disconnected from this terrible fucking reality to feel it :)
im handling life GREAT btw everyone π
π₯ // how selfish of me to not know my place, to want the warmth and love of the sun, to bring my presence and tarnish the glow with it, make them less than perfectly content just so i can feel happy.
at least they can have fun in the light now. as long as they're happy. that's
π₯ // no one cares how loud i scream for help, people as bad and worthless as i don't get help. we rot and decay. this is my punishment for not being enough. to hurt, and to never se the sunlight again. forever in my pit.
π₯ // vent.
some days i regret agreeing that day, i could've rejected the mere idea of it, but i admitted it myself and agreed. i was happy, for he first time in my life i felt happy and loved. it was amazing, immaculate. pity i couldn't be good enough to ensure it'd last.
π₯ // not dead, still alive. as long as i dont think on things too much hopefully that'll stay that way. if anyone wants to feel free to DM me dating advice. not seeing anyone for a long time as far as im concerned, i just wanna know what i did wrong. do better. fix myself.
π₯ // at least with my pot and prozac i can stop feeling this terrible, painful numb. i honestly haven't been this depressed since my nan died. pity it all. damn.
I wish I could go to a planet that had only dogs on it. That'd be awesome. I'd call it Awesome Planet 9 and I could pet dogs all day. So cool.
[ What's bro yapping about nowβ ]
π₯ // ive got a lot of shit to work on, so i probably won't be around too often. busy busy busy and all that what have you.
π₯ // i don't know if my antidepressants are working today. i feel worse than i have all week, but then again i made the mistake of thinking of something that made me sad again. dunno which it could be. maybe both.
π₯ //im getting into writing more, ive made two fanfictions over at archive of our own. three more in the works. my user is MentalBird, you'll know me if you see me there. most of it is self indulgent admittedly but i need something to quell the thoughts telling me to k!ll myself