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Joined September 2021
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watching the ordeal makes something tight squirm inside shoutoโ€™s chest. itโ€™sโ€ฆ painful. it feels like he canโ€™t breathe. whatโ€ฆ what does he do? causing bakugou to act like that was his fault. he thought he was doing the right thing. once again, he wasnโ€™t. another misstep. +
Replying to @DYNAMIlGHT
- leave. needs to get some fresh air. he stands up and dashes for the exit, slamming through the dormitory doors in his haste.
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heโ€™s always wrong. always incorrect. everyone is born with a social compass, and shoutoโ€™s is broken. itโ€™s frustrating. itโ€™s upsetting that he doesnโ€™t know how to navigate these situations. +
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blink. โ€œyouโ€™d also get angry at me if i didnโ€™t eat it. you might think i didnโ€™t want it, when in reality, i would just be waiting for it to cool.โ€ he says, expression blank, head tilting a little. โ€œi was just trying to be polite.โ€ he canโ€™t do anything right. he sighs, and eats.
Replying to @DYNAMIlGHT
- he brings his palm against his forehead a few more times until he stops feeling so overwhelmed, eyes scrunched shut in frustration.
โ€œoh.โ€ he blinks. โ€œwell, if it makes you feel any better, i quite like the name.โ€ he begins to finish his meal, sipping on his tea every now and then. heโ€™sโ€ฆ not sure what else to say, so he stays quiet.
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he nods, grimacing a little. โ€œironically enough, iโ€™m a little sensitive to temperature.โ€ among other things. โ€œi like to wait for a while before eating anything thatโ€™s hot,โ€ he says. the pain is ebbing. heโ€™ll eat more soon. โ€œiโ€ฆ didnโ€™t want you to think i was refusing.โ€
โ€œi can tell. thatโ€™s why youโ€™re not allowed to use the stove.โ€ he just implemented that rule. wait. squints. โ€œare you okay?โ€
โ€œthatโ€™s cute,โ€ he says, thinking of the dog in question, picturing it in his head. a coincidenceโ€” itโ€™s one of the only dog breeds he knows. but then he notices her hiding her face. heโ€™sโ€ฆ confused, and a little concerned. โ€œiโ€™mโ€ฆ sorry if iโ€™ve made you uncomfortable.โ€
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โ€œiโ€™ve heard that pets can become valued members of a family,โ€ he says, nodding slightly, looking down at his food. itโ€™s half-finished. he drinks some more tea. โ€œwhat breed of dog are they?โ€ he asks, even though he hasnโ€™t the slightest clue about any of them.
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shouto doesnโ€™t want to fuck this up, either. it feels like heโ€™s walking on land mines. what can he say that wonโ€™t make bakugou explode? hhhโ€ฆ โ€œiโ€ฆ canโ€™t cook,โ€ he says eventually, trying to ignore the pain in his mouth. โ€œno matter how hard i try. i always mess up.โ€
oh yeah. todoroki is autistic. . . โ€œ. . . been doinโ€™ it since i was a kid. my old man taught me.โ€ katsuki takes quiet, slow breaths. heโ€™s not angry, just nervous. anxious, even. he doesnโ€™t want to fuck this up.
he shrugs, swallows. โ€œclose enough, i suppose.โ€ yumiโ€™s nice. she taught him a lot of things. โ€œdo you have any siblings?โ€ he asks, because thatโ€™s what the books stay to do; ask the other person questions, as well. itโ€™s polite.
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one of shoutoโ€™s interests is his own diagnosis. he recognises the stim immediately, but says nothing, does nothing. simply ignores it, because thatโ€™s what he would like someone to do for him. โ€œyouโ€™reโ€ฆ a good cook.โ€ he says quietly, before scooping more into his mouth. too hot.
he winces and leans back in his chair, shaking his hands a few times before theyโ€™re shoved into his lap. why. . . did he do that. whatever. โ€œiโ€™m what?โ€
he notices bakugou biting back something. ahโ€ฆ he must have said something wrong again. โ€œah, well, youโ€™reโ€”โ€ only after he speaks does he realise he should be quiet, so he stops himself, falls silent, and continues eating. quiet is good, anyway. quiet is calm. he eats some more.
he bites back the harsh words that come up his throat, clenching his fist. โ€œyeah. i cook.โ€ . . . very eloquent, katsuki.
i had decided i am not going to think about it. it feels like something i could lose myself in while trying to find the answer. i have more important things to spend time on.