Ben Carson

So proud to serve the country in my role as Secretary of Justifying Republicans’ Racism.

Feet are like leg hands. #wednesdaywisdom

I'm stuck inside a box and can't get out. The last time this happened there was a guy in here eating green eggs.

Secretary of Justifying Republicans' Racism. Yeah, that's me. #NotGreatJobTitles

I'm just here to make white republicans feel justified in their bigotry. They can't be racist if they like me. I'm the token black guy.

Your hair is unlike anything I’ve seen before and as a brain surgeon I’ve seen some nasty shit.

I'm only here to be the token black guy so that the Republicans can justify their own bigotry.

You must be white.

That is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever read.

My fellow republicans are so cool. I love being their excuse to why they can’t be racists. We all have our roles.

Fuck you bitch. What you thought I was sweet out here? I got nines, AK's, guns the size of Lil Bow Wow. You ain't about this life🔫

Honestly, I was just really sleepy today. I had four boxes of Lunchables and it put me into a food coma.

Sorry, fellow black Americans. I was really sleepy today. If I don't get my juice boxes regularly through the day I get a little delirious.

Bleep bloop bloppity bloop!