Shandon Fowler

The only difference between emo and hair metal is self-esteem.

Me: YOUR FATHER IS HOME FROM THE FISHING GROUNDS, MY FAMILY. LET US COME ADORE HIM. Narrator: He was at a hotel with a harbor view, eating catered food, drinking Diet Coke and staring at slides all week.

Licorice Pizza. What a fucking movie.

Bosch: Legacy? C,mon, they could have done so much more with the name. Off the Beat. Bosch, P.I. The Boschford Files. Harry.

I’m choosing to feel proud that the 15 years of utter nonsense I’ve contributed to this platform played a small part in separating Elon Musk from $44 billion on which he will never possibly see a return.

Wife: 🙄 You’re so strange selling our used stuff on Marketplace. Me: I just made $1,200 on four things. Wife: I’ll be in the attic.

I was yesterday years old when I realized that the “key” in key lime pie refers to Key West, which claims domain of its creation. I was today years old when I read that key lime pie was actually invented in…[checks Internet]…New York City? foodandwine.com/news/key-lim…

Sometimes I feel like my wife and I think we’re giving our kids a fun and atypical childhood and sometimes I think that our kids are going to write memoirs that say we’re lunatics.

For how many years do we let airlines say they’re experiencing higher-than-normal wait times to talk to a human before it becomes false advertising?

My theory is that every millennial saw an episode of Blue’s Clues way too old and that’s why they are the way they are.

Just out here teaching my mom outdated slang.

Stupid Wordle 288 5/6 ⬛⬛⬛🟩🟩 ⬛⬛⬛🟩🟩 ⬛⬛⬛🟩🟩 🟩⬛⬛🟩🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

Why even be a hotel in the ‘20s if you can’t get your WiFi right?

HR, HCM and employer benefits followers: Does anyone have a newish version of an ecosystem slide, with all of the little logos and organized by area—HRIS, ERP, TA, workforce management, learning, benefits, etc.?

Every now and then, I take a taxi so I don’t have to worry about how many stars I’ll get.

Could any man predict they’d become the type of guy to have the Atlanta Airport Brooks Brothers store location memorized?

12 Monkeys Fifth Element Looper Moonrise Kingdom Look Who’s Talking

Here’s a new thing since the pandemic started: When I travel now, I have to talk myself out of bringing my weighted blanket.

I like to imagine that it was Timothee Chalamet making a joke about Zendaya and Tom Holland ran to the stage and slapped Tim and Tim started to cry and Holland hugged him and then the trio goes out for milkshakes and they cut to Zendaya doing a "what're you gonna do?" shrug.

I'm "pissed at Google for manipulating my emotions for profit but still choked up over this CODA commercial" years old.