Lisa Silverman

Let’s talk about resilience. Many of my posts here are about the types of experiences and interactions known to optimize early childhood development… The kinds of best case scenarios that we’d wish upon all children. But your responses are a steady reminder that many children - including some of you personally - aren’t born into optimal situations. Children are separated from their parents by death or adoption. Their home lives are chaotic or stressful due to drug abuse, domestic violence, or the mental illness of a parent. The resulting questions can be difficult. What did my child (or I) miss out on developmentally? And is it too late to make up for adversities faced during the most formative years? Obviously these kinds of situations aren’t ideal, and childhood trauma can be associated with lingering effects on both health and cognition. But the good news is that this isn’t the end of the story. Development is far too complex and dynamic. Resilience refers to one’s ability to overcome significant hardship. And many children have it in spades. My friends at the Harvard Center on the Developing Child depict resilience as a seesaw on which the accumulation of positive/protective experiences on one side can, over time, actually serve to counterbalance life’s adversities on the other. And even tilt outcomes in a positive, rather than negative, direction. Of particular importance to the development of resilience is a stable, committed relationship with at least one nurturing adult (who may be a grandparent or teacher, for example). We all have roles to play in supporting the healthy development of the children in our lives. You just never know whose life you may be changing for the better. The bottom line is this: lots of children overcome lots of hardship with the right supports. Just one person can make a world of difference - and while adversity isn’t ideal, it’s never too late to shift life’s balance. You’ve got this. You’re stronger and more resilient than you know. This video, shared to IG by _harleydean_ has nothing to do with resilience, by the way. But it includes the cutest side-eye you’ll ever run across and I’ve been looking for an excuse to share it.