S📍mon 🅿inkerton (@SimonPinkerton) header
S📍mon 🅿inkerton (@SimonPinkerton) profile picture

S📍mon 🅿inkerton

@SimonPinkerton

Fiction and humour writer. In many awesome mags. Two books, both unwanted. Repped by (YOUR NAME HERE). Writing, reading, video games, no politics. Website below

 Heathrow Airport, roughly
simonpinkerton.dx.am
Joined October 2014
  • Tweets13.7K
  • Following1.1K
  • Followers1.1K
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Photo by S📍mon 🅿inkerton (@SimonPinkerton)Photo by S📍mon 🅿inkerton (@SimonPinkerton)Photo by S📍mon 🅿inkerton (@SimonPinkerton)Photo by S📍mon 🅿inkerton (@SimonPinkerton)Photo by S📍mon 🅿inkerton (@SimonPinkerton)Photo by S📍mon 🅿inkerton (@SimonPinkerton)Photo by S📍mon 🅿inkerton (@SimonPinkerton)Photo by S📍mon 🅿inkerton (@SimonPinkerton)Photo by S📍mon 🅿inkerton (@SimonPinkerton)Photo by S📍mon 🅿inkerton (@SimonPinkerton)
If I reach just one person with this tweet...that will be a good summary of the average amount of people I reach with my tweets
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S📍mon 🅿inkerton retweeted
Tom Mitchell (@cakesthebrain) profile picture
Tom Mitchell
@cakesthebrain13 Mar 2025
🚀 The First Kid in Space 🚀 Out today! Think Charlie & the Chocolate Factory meets Traitors! Perfect for the little astronaut in your life. #astronaughty #kidlit @HarperCollinsCh
Image from Tom Mitchell (@cakesthebrain)
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I looked at one of those "P * * S Y in profile" bio pics and it wasn't in profile at all, it was facing front, massive disappointment
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S📍mon 🅿inkerton retweeted
Tom Mitchell (@cakesthebrain) profile picture
Tom Mitchell
@cakesthebrain20 Feb 2024
My new book, HOW TO STOP THE END OF THE WORLD, is out in three weeks. Please pre-order it. You don't even have to read it. I don't care. You might think, as a children's author, that I want to encourage reading for pleasure. I don't. All I care about is money. Thank you.
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S📍mon 🅿inkerton retweeted
FMInside (@fminside) profile picture
FMInside
@fminside6 Nov 2023
To celebrate the release day of #FM24 we have decided to do another giveaway! 😍 Easy to enter, simply: 🥰Follow @fminside ♻️Retweet this post Winner will be picked around 3pm UK Time and code will be sent shortly after. #FM24EarlyAccess #FM24Beta Good luck to you all 😎
Image from FMInside (@fminside)
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Two in three smokers will die if they don’t quit. What will you miss? Walking your child down the aisle? Meeting your grandchild? Smoking takes too many special moments away from us. That’s our message as we launch our new campaign across the city-region makesmokinghistory.co.uk/lat…
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Everything about this is incredible
Image from S📍mon 🅿inkerton (@SimonPinkerton)
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By which I mean, are you an aspiring rapper or poet who wants to throw down some bars about trading standards related to loan sharks or fireworks? Of course you are! We all are!
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Tokyo Sexwhale (@tokyosexwhale) profile picture
Tokyo Sexwhale@tokyosexwhale4 Jul 2020
Their faces look like a before and after pic of a cartoon character looking down the barrel of a just lit cannon.
Image from Tokyo Sexwhale (@tokyosexwhale)
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Wonder how much China paid for these VAR decisions #WomensWorldCup2023
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When you buy pet insurance they ask you, "Does your pet have any ongoing legal disputes"
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shirtmaxxing (@shirtmaxxing) profile picture
shirtmaxxing
@shirtmaxxing18 Feb 2023
Image from shirtmaxxing (@shirtmaxxing)
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Welcome to hell? It's called the Jungle Bar. Welcome to the Jungle, people, cmon!
Image from S📍mon 🅿inkerton (@SimonPinkerton)
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New Twitter For You: people screaming about how shitty other people are Following: same but chronological
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A minor incident occurred at my son's school. Reported on widely in the (online) papers. Every single detail is wrong about the incident in almost all of them. The Sun actually got the most correct. Journalism is dead
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I had a go on ChatGPT and it seems to spout all the usual shit that you hear everywhere, presumably because it was trained on millions of garbage pieces of journalism
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Yes cat I love you, please remove your bottom from my face
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I wrote this for Morning Moot. They are absolutely awesome and donate to charity for each published piece. Honestly an absolute pleasure to write this for them. It's about carving people up in the name of science/resentment
Morning Moot (@morningmoot_) profile pictureMorning Moot@morningmoot_23 Jan 2023
"I want to see why they didn’t even notice diseases that killed people, and in my case more importantly, made me roll around in bed for three days in mild discomfort. I want scientists to carve them up and then come to some conclusions..." @SimonPinkerton morningmoot.com/medicallyvio…
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S📍mon 🅿inkerton retweeted
No Context Brits (@NoContextBrits) profile picture
No Context Brits
@NoContextBrits16 Jan 2023
French is such a beautiful language.
Image from No Context Brits (@NoContextBrits)
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S📍mon 🅿inkerton retweeted
Tom Mitchell (@cakesthebrain) profile picture
Tom Mitchell
@cakesthebrain2 Jan 2023
This new year, after thinking long and hard, I’ve decided to take a break from my family, so I can focus all my energy on social media. Thanks for your understanding. Please RT.
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