Squirrel Karate

If a woman is uncomfortable watching you masturbate, she: A. Has intimacy issues B. Is frigid C. Needs to sit somewhere else on the bus

What kind of an asshole tells everyone on Twitter it’s their birthday for attention, what a loser! Unrelated, Happy Birthday to me!

According to your Avi you were pretty hot in 1998 huh?

The joke is on you guys…I knew my tweets were shit this whole time.

I like to tweet on this account every so often to remind people they haven’t blocked me yet.

I reiterate that a Tupperware and a Walrus both like a tight seal.

It’s as if being handsome and funny is not enough to be well liked on Twitter anymore…fuck sakes what now?

Sometimes you need Super Mario crossed with Pulp Fiction figurines in your day because of reasons okay!

Not a Wordle…it’s a me a Mario! 🟥🟥🟥🟥 🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥 🟫🟫🟫🟧🟧⬛️🟧 🟫🟧🟫🟧🟧⬛️🟧🟧 🟫🟧🟫🟧🟧🟧🟫🟧🟧 🟫🟫🟧🟧🟧🟫🟫🟫 🟧🟧🟧🟧🟧 🟥🟥🟦🟥🟥 🟥🟥🟥🟦🟥🟥🟥 🟥🟥🟥🟦🟥🟥🟦🟥 🟧🟧🟥🟦🟨🟦🟨🟦🟥🟥 🟧🟧🟧🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟧🟧 🟧🟧🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟧

It would be very easy for me to make it hard for you.

"Fold Me" - Emotional Fitted Sheet

Kangaroos invented the Fanny Pack

Subtweet like you actually know the person

I'm saving my best tweet for last in case you hadn't noticed.

So this is fun huh?