Daily pointless football stats & What ifs. The odd rumour. Football nonsense nobody asked for. Use this information wisely. 🫡
The Boozer HQ N17
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🚨POINTLESS STAT OF THE DAY #026
Ipswich signed Zian Flemming last night.
Last season he scored 11 Premier League goals for Burnley but assisted absolutely none which puts him FIFTH on the all-time Premier League leaderboard for most career goals without registering a single assist:
🥇 Branko Strupar 15
🥈 Eli Junior Kroupi 13
🥈 Bafétimbi Gomis 13
4️⃣ Jhon Durán 12
5️⃣ Zian Flemming 11
So Flemming starts his Ipswich career just four goals away from the record.
The problem? One successful pass in the penalty area could ruin the entire thing.
Can he reach No.1 before accidentally setting someone up? 👀
🧐 Use this information wisely.
🚨 POINTLESS STAT OF THE DAY #193
📅 26 OCTOBER: SHEFFIELD UNITED CUTTING OPPOSITIONS TO PIECES
🔴 LIVERPOOL have won 13 of their 17 league games played on this date , a 76.5% win rate and the best one out of every English side.
⚽ SHEFFIELD UNITED are the day’s goal machines, scoring 49 goals across 19 league matches. Blades fans hope you enjoyed that but there is more!
💥 BIGGEST WIN: Newcastle United 8–0 Notts County in 1901, matched by Arsenal’s 8–0 win over Leicester in 1903. Seems like a regular occurrence in the early 20th century!
🎯 MOST GOALS IN ONE MATCH: Sheffield United 8–3 Manchester City in 1925. Eleven goals. Defending was apparently optional. October doesn't appear to be a good month historically for City!
Use this information wisely. 🤓
🚨 POINTLESS STAT OF THE DAY #192
Ever wondered how many different league positions your club has finished in since the Premier League began in 1992? 🤔
Liverpool have finished everywhere from 1st to 8th but never lower which means they have the highest lowest position!
Arsenal have managed 9 different positions in 34 seasons.
Manchester United? Also 9. Perhaps a new one this season the way things are going?
But some clubs have had a much wilder ride, finishing all over the table. We've got all the stats and wondered if anyone knew....
Which club has finished in the MOST different Premier League positions since 1992?
Answers on a postcard… or in the comments. 👇
We will reveal the table toppers later on today.
Use this information wisely. 🤓
Surprised to see Real Madrid reach 107 wins first. Mbappe at the double!
🚨 POINTLESS STAT OF THE DAY #191
FOOTBALL’S CLOSEST RIVALRIES ARE CLOSER THAN YOU THINK!!
REAL MADRID v BARCELONA TONIGHT! 🤯
After 264 official meetings:
⚪ 106 Real Madrid wins
🔵🔴 106 Barcelona wins
🤝 52 draws
It's a crazy stat and tonight one of football’s biggest rivals could finally get the upper hand!
🏆 THE 10 CLOSEST RIVALRIES
🇪🇸Real Madrid v Barcelona
264 matches | 0 wins apart
🏴Newcastle v Sunderland
156 matches | 2 wins apart
🏴Celtic v Rangers
454 matches | 2 wins apart
🇦🇷Boca Juniors v River Plate
266 matches | 6 wins apart
🇧🇷Palmeiras v Corinthians
400 matches | 7 wins apart
🇮🇹Inter v AC Milan
246 matches | 7 wins apart
🇵🇹Benfica v Porto
261 matches | 11 wins apart
🏴Liverpool v Manchester United
218 matches | 13 wins apart
🇹🇷Galatasaray v Fenerbahçe
284 matches | 13 wins apart
🏴Manchester City v Manchester United
199 matches | 18 wins apart
⚽ Which rivalry have we missed that might be even closer and make the top 10?
And who wins tonight’s El Clásico?
Use this information wisely. 🤓
🚨 SUNDAY NIGHT POINTLESS FOOTY QUIZ! ⚽🤓
Sunday nights can be a bit quiet, so let’s get the football brains working!
THE THREE-PLAYER CHALLENGE 👀
The rules are simple: name THREE players who have each played for at least THREE different Premier League clubs.
The more obscure, the better!
But there’s a twist. Your three players must have something in common to get past STATTY VAR!
They might:
⚽ Play in the same position
🎵 Have names that rhyme
🤝 Have played together at another club
🤔 Or have a connection nobody else would ever think of!
Here’s the clever bit: post just your three players’ names and leave everyone else to work out the connection.
To get it right, they must identify all the players’ Premier League clubs AND explain what links them.
Once someone cracks your trio, it’s their turn to submit three players of their own!
🏁 I’ll kick things off with:
Frank Lampard. Peter Crouch. Michael Owen.
Can you name their Premier League clubs and work out the connection?
👇 Drop your own trio in the replies. Let’s see who can come up with the most obscure combination!
Use this information wisely. 🤓
🚨 POINTLESS STAT OF THE DAY #191
FOOTBALL’S CLOSEST RIVALRIES ARE CLOSER THAN YOU THINK!!
REAL MADRID v BARCELONA TONIGHT! 🤯
After 264 official meetings:
⚪ 106 Real Madrid wins
🔵🔴 106 Barcelona wins
🤝 52 draws
It's a crazy stat and tonight one of football’s biggest rivals could finally get the upper hand!
🏆 THE 10 CLOSEST RIVALRIES
🇪🇸Real Madrid v Barcelona
264 matches | 0 wins apart
🏴Newcastle v Sunderland
156 matches | 2 wins apart
🏴Celtic v Rangers
454 matches | 2 wins apart
🇦🇷Boca Juniors v River Plate
266 matches | 6 wins apart
🇧🇷Palmeiras v Corinthians
400 matches | 7 wins apart
🇮🇹Inter v AC Milan
246 matches | 7 wins apart
🇵🇹Benfica v Porto
261 matches | 11 wins apart
🏴Liverpool v Manchester United
218 matches | 13 wins apart
🇹🇷Galatasaray v Fenerbahçe
284 matches | 13 wins apart
🏴Manchester City v Manchester United
199 matches | 18 wins apart
⚽ Which rivalry have we missed that might be even closer and make the top 10?
And who wins tonight’s El Clásico?
Use this information wisely. 🤓
🚨 POINTLESS STAT OF THE DAY #190
THE BIG SIX'S MANAGERIAL LOWS
Michael Carrick's Manchester United did not have the best of afternoon's at Old Trafford today.
Carrick has just won just ONE of his first EIGHT Premier League games as permanent boss.
That's a win rate of 12.5%.
For context, we've looked at some of the lowest Premier League win rates recorded by permanent managers at the Big Six before Carrick took over and compared him.....
📉 Michael Carrick Man Utd: 12.5%
📉 Joe Royle Man City: 21.1%
📉 Jacques Santini Tottenham: 25.0%
📉 Ian Porterfield Chelsea: 31.0%
📉 Ruben Amorim Man Utd: 31.9%
📉 Roy Hodgson Liverpool: 35.0%
📉 George Graham Arsenal: 37.2%
Yes, George Graham tops this particular list for Arsenal and these figures are Premier League matches only, not the old First Division.
And yes if you add in Carrick's caretaker numbers they of course improve but these early numbers make grim reading. Eight games is a very small sample compared with some of these managerial spells but it's not looking good for Michael when you look at this table.
Can Carrick turn it around, or is the pressure already too much?
Use this information wisely. 🤓
🚨 BREAKING: THE 2027 BREAKAWAY ANIMAL SUPER INTERNATIONAL LEAGUE CONFIRMED! 🐾🌍
Following an unprecedented number of applications, lobbying from the animal kingdom and several questionable attempts to sneak in under the rules, the Distinguished Executive Committee has sat through the night.
After hours of deliberation, paperwork and at least one heated debate about whether an ox counts as an animal, the verdict is in!
🏆 THE INAUGURAL 20 HAVE BEEN APPROVED!
🌍 ONE CLUB PER COUNTRY.
🐾 NO TWO CLUBS CAN HAVE THE SAME ANIMAL.
🚫 UNITEDs ARE BANNED UNLESS THEY OFFER MORE THAN NITS. NO NICKNAMES. NO EXCEPTIONS!
🇮🇹 AC Carpi
🇵🇪 Alianza Lima
🇹🇷 Antalyaspor
🇿🇦 Black Leopards
🇲🇹 Bruno’s Magpies
🏴 Cowdenbeath
🇳🇱 Go Ahead Eagles
🇨🇭 Grasshopper Club Zürich
🇬🇭 Heart of Lions
🇰🇿 Kairat Almaty
🇯🇵 Nagoya Grampus
🇺🇸 New York Red Bulls
🏴 Oxford United
🇲🇽 Pumas UNAM
🇳🇬 Ranchers Bees
🇪🇸 Real Mallorca
🏴 Swansea City
🇦🇺 Sutherland Sharks
🇩🇪 Wolfsburg
🇺🇬 Young Elephant
🐾 20 clubs. 20 countries. 23 different animals!
The rejected applicants have been informed by carrier pigeon. Appeals must be submitted in triplicate, preferably by a well-trained animal.
Which of the 20 deserves to be crowned champions of the animal kingdom?
🚨 BREAKING: THE BREAKAWAY INTERNATIONAL ANIMAL LEAGUE! 🐍🦁🦈
We’re setting up a brand-new international football league. Twenty clubs. The world invited. One very specific entry requirement…
🐾 THERE MUST BE AN ANIMAL IN YOUR CLUB NAME!
We’re MOOving quickly. We’ve got a shortlist of 15 potential professional members, but we need FIVE MORE to complete our magnificent league of 20.
🐾 THE PROVISIONAL SHORTLIST
🐀 Ararat-Armenia (Armenia)
🐍 Adelaide Cobras (Australia)
🐆 Black Leopards (South Africa)
🐑 Crewe Alexandra (England)
🐬 Dolphins FC (Nigeria)
🦗 Grasshopper Club Zürich (Switzerland)
🦅 Go Ahead Eagles (Netherlands)
🐂 New York Red Bulls (USA)
🦊 Oxford United (England)
🐂 Red Bull Salzburg (Austria)
🦈 Sutherland Sharks (Australia)
🦢 Swansea City (Wales)
🦫 Shrewsbury Town (England)
🐺 Wollongong Wolves (Australia)
🐦 Moroka Swallows (South Africa)
🚫 ONE VERY IMPORTANT RULE
The league officials have confirmed that UNITEDs ARE BANNED. Apparently, they’re too itchy. No appeals. No exceptions. No scratching around the rules. Also no nicknames!
🌍 FOOTBALL FANS, WE NEED YOUR HELP!
Which CLUBS are we missing? Think big. Think obscure. Think leagues nobody else is looking at.
Tag your suggestions below. Bonus points for the strangest animal hiding in a club name and of course the longest.
We need five more clubs to make our 20-team international breakaway league a reality!
Use this information wisely. 🤓
We gave you the rules yesterday and subsequently teams have sent their applications to join the new breakaway Animal Super League.
With so much demand the officials decided they could only accommodate a single team from each country and no animals could be replicated so the final listing provides a very strong table of twenty sides but 23 different animals. Here are the rebels who will be breaking out from there own respective leagues next season......
AC Carpi (Italy)
Alianza Lima (Peru)
Antalyaspor (Turkey)
Black Leopards (South Africa)
Bruno’s Magpies (Malta)
Cowdenbeath (Scotland)
Go Ahead Eagles (Netherlands)
Grasshopper Club Zürich (Switzerland)
Heart of Lions (Ghana)
Kairat Almaty (Kazakhstan)
Nagoya Grampus (Japan)
New York Red Bulls (USA)
Oxford United (England)
Pumas UNAM (Mexico)
Ranchers Bees (Nigeria)
Real Mallorca (Spain)
Swansea City (Wales)
Sutherland Sharks (Australia)
Wolfsburg (Germany)
Young Elephant (Uganda)
🚨 BREAKING: THE BREAKAWAY INTERNATIONAL ANIMAL LEAGUE! 🐍🦁🦈
We’re setting up a brand-new international football league. Twenty clubs. The world invited. One very specific entry requirement…
🐾 THERE MUST BE AN ANIMAL IN YOUR CLUB NAME!
We’re MOOving quickly. We’ve got a shortlist of 15 potential professional members, but we need FIVE MORE to complete our magnificent league of 20.
🐾 THE PROVISIONAL SHORTLIST
🐀 Ararat-Armenia (Armenia)
🐍 Adelaide Cobras (Australia)
🐆 Black Leopards (South Africa)
🐑 Crewe Alexandra (England)
🐬 Dolphins FC (Nigeria)
🦗 Grasshopper Club Zürich (Switzerland)
🦅 Go Ahead Eagles (Netherlands)
🐂 New York Red Bulls (USA)
🦊 Oxford United (England)
🐂 Red Bull Salzburg (Austria)
🦈 Sutherland Sharks (Australia)
🦢 Swansea City (Wales)
🦫 Shrewsbury Town (England)
🐺 Wollongong Wolves (Australia)
🐦 Moroka Swallows (South Africa)
🚫 ONE VERY IMPORTANT RULE
The league officials have confirmed that UNITEDs ARE BANNED. Apparently, they’re too itchy. No appeals. No exceptions. No scratching around the rules. Also no nicknames!
🌍 FOOTBALL FANS, WE NEED YOUR HELP!
Which CLUBS are we missing? Think big. Think obscure. Think leagues nobody else is looking at.
Tag your suggestions below. Bonus points for the strangest animal hiding in a club name and of course the longest.
We need five more clubs to make our 20-team international breakaway league a reality!
Use this information wisely. 🤓
🚨 POINTLESS STAT OF THE DAY #189
🚨 87 TEAMS. 138 YEARS. ONE VERY ODD LEEDS v SUNDERLAND FIXTURE!
Today's fixture has a brilliant calendar-date subplot.
Statty HQ checked our English league results data covering the top four divisions back to 1888. 87 teams have played more than 10 times on 25 October.
Among them, Sunderland rank 2nd for win rate. Leeds sit 7th!
🏆 THE TOP 7 BY WIN RATE
1️⃣ Watford 10 wins in 15 (66.7%)
2️⃣ Sunderland 15 wins in 23 (65.2%)
3️⃣ West Brom 11 wins in 19 (57.9%)
4️⃣ Ipswich Town 9 wins in 16 (56.3%)
5️⃣ Fulham 9 wins in 16 (56.3%)
6️⃣ Swansea City 7 wins in 13 (53.8%)
7️⃣ Leeds United 9 wins in 17 (52.9%)
Their most recent league games on this date?
Sunderland beat Chelsea 2–1 in 2025.
Leeds lost 1–0 at Stoke City in 2023.
And here’s the best bit: Sunderland and Leeds have never met in a league match on 25 October, according to our sheet.
Today, they finally do.
The second-best record meets the seventh-best. Does the date favour Sunderland, or can Leeds spoil the party?
Sunderland have never beaten Leeds 3-1 in any of their previous 90 league meetings. Could today be the day?
Use this information wisely. 🤓
🚨 POINTLESS STAT OF THE DAY #188
CHELSEA’S OWN-GOAL KING OUT INJURED....AND YOU CAN'T WRITE THE SCRIPT! 🤦♂️
Spurs visited Stamford Bridge tonight and there’s a delicious little irony in the Chelsea goalkeeping department.
Emiliano Martínez is reportedly level with Bernd Leno on THREE Premier League own goals by a goalkeeper.
But Martínez was injured, so step forward Mike Penders, making his first Premier League start against Tottenham! 👀
The man with one of the league’s most unfortunate goalkeeper records is missing… and a new keeper gets his chance against Spurs who Chelsea regularly batter.
And yes you guessed it. Chelsea 0 Tottenham 2. First goalscorer OG Mike Penders! Crazy😂
Have you ever seen a goalkeeper punch the ball into his own net? Tell me the worst goalkeeping howler you remember!
Use this information wisely. 🤓
🚨 THE CALENDAR CURSE UPDATE!
Man City’s 24 October record gets worse after losing 2–1 to Aston Villa.
But there’s a twist…
Doncaster Rovers had the next-worst record of the entire English Football League and came away with a WIN! They move below City.
Torquay are no longer in the higher leagues so they also jump above City as their record remained the same. They got a point in the National League.
Halifax Town also picked up a draw.
These results mean Oct 24th appears even more cursed for City. Out of the 90 teams who have played at least 10 recorded matches in English league’s four divisions since 1888 City have the 2nd worst record.
❌ Halifax Town: 10 defeats in 15 games - 66.7%
❌ Manchester City: 13 defeats in 20 games - 65.0%
Make it make sense. The calendar curse is looking rather selective!
Use this information wisely. 🤓
🚨 POINTLESS STAT OF THE DAY #185
Sometimes you stumble across a stat and think…
“THAT CAN’T POSSIBLY BE RIGHT.”
This is one of those. Read on and you will think I've made this up because it's so ridiculous but it's amazing what stats can reveal if you go very deep into the rabbit hole....
Manchester City appear to have a CALENDAR CURSE. 🧵👇
1/ THE OCTOBER 24 CURSE
Across 19 English league matches played on 24 October, Man City have:
✅ Won: 2
🤝 Drawn: 5
❌ Lost: 12
A 63.2% defeat rate.
Among the current Premier League clubs, City have the most defeats, the fewest wins and the lowest win rate on this date.
That is absolutely bonkers.
2/ BUT WHO ELSE IS WORSE?
Looking across the entire English league pyramid, only THREE clubs with at least 10 recorded matches have a lower win percentage on 24 October:
Torquay United, Halifax Town, Doncaster Rovers
Manchester City. Torquay. Halifax. Doncaster.
Four clubs. One very strange date.
I bet you didn't have that on your football bingo card. 😂
3/ IT GETS EVEN WEIRDER…
24 October isn't even City's winless day.
That honour belongs to 16 February.
Across nine recorded English league matches on that date, City have:
✅ Won: 0
🤝 Drawn: 6
❌ Lost: 3
NINE GAMES.
NOT ONE WIN.
Six draws. Three defeats. What on earth is going on?
4/ AND THEN THERE WAS 11 OCTOBER…
Until recently, 11 October was another dreadful date for City.
Before this year's game at Anfield, they'd managed just ONE win in 12 league matches on that date.
That solitary victory?
A 1–0 win over Preston North End in 1902.
Then came 11 October 2026…
5/ ENTER ANFIELD
Manchester City went to Liverpool and won 3–0.
Suddenly, their 11 October record became:
✅ Won: 2
🤝 Drawn: 3
❌ Lost: 8
They accidentally helped City escape one of their historical date-based bogey records. Is it the Maresca effect?😂
6/ AND THOSE TWO OCTOBER 24 WINS?
You couldn't make them up.
⚽ Manchester City 8–3 Burnley - 24 October 1925
⚽ Manchester City 1–0 Southampton - 24 October 1992
Nineteen games. Twelve defeats. Just two wins.
An eight-goal thriller and a one-goal victory are all City have to show for it.
7/ THE POINTLESS CONCLUSION
A calendar date on which City have lost almost two-thirds of their league matches.
Another on which they've played nine times without winning.
And a third that got a little less cursed thanks to a 3–0 win at Anfield.
Sometimes statistics don't need making up.
You just need to find them.
So we await to see if this curse continues against Aston Villa today.
Use this information wisely. 🤓
Just learnt a new rule tonight in the Premier League watching Spurs v Chelsea. A push to the head standing up is a red card. A push to a player in the head kneeling down is a yellow card. A new pointless stat category has been created!👀
I don't have enough research for this i'm afraid. If it was mullets or buzzcuts I could do it but happy to open this out to others as I am sure a few will get into the spirit of this!
🚨 POINTLESS STAT OF THE DAY #187
CHELSEA v SPURS: THE MISSING SCORELINES!
In Premier League history, these London rivals have shared a 4-4… but surprisingly never a 3-3.
Spurs have scored 5 in a match against Chelsea. Remember that 5-3 match at WHL?
Chelsea? have never scored exactly 5 against Spurs. They have done SIX though! 🤣
And if you're watching today, keep an eye on the 52nd minute. Statty HQ understands this fixture has seen 8 goals scored in that minute, more than any other (excluding the the 45th and 90th).
The 52nd minute and 3-3. Obviously are not going to happen or are they?
Use this information wisely. 🤓
