10:45, no work tomorrow, and he's tipping back the sweetened iced tea! #NightOutWithTony @tony791999

A dude with frizzy white hair just rolled by in a Delorean. Where am I?

Um... so, totally not lame. Actually, pretty awesome. #fast5

Would it be funny if I died my hair orange right now? #insensitivity

Hey girl- those Victoria's Secret "Pink" yoga pants in no way make your child-sized beanbag ass look good. Its like a lumpy, cotton pillow.

Right now, my favorite songs are: Payphone, Lights (Ellie Goulding), Primadonna Girl, and Call Me Maybe. I swear Im straight- FM Radio sucks

Dear followers: I apologize. I know that my tweets were SO interesting, witty, funny, and memorable- I apologize. But... I'M BACK BITCHES!

Just seriously considered getting a mini fridge in my STUDIO next to my bed, so I dont have to get up for beer. #laziness

Well twitter... I'm back. Took a break- you were smothering me. Not sure what to say, I know it's been a while. Did you miss me?

Chris from the @nerdist should be on @redbarradio with Mike D when he's in Chicago, or vise versa!

Well I abandoned that idea very quickly. Maybe I'm starting to be over twitter..

Michael J Fox needs to come out with a bobble head doll. (yes, recycled from my Facebook... I'm starting off slow. Relax.) #JokeAnHour

Hey followers! I forgot about twitter for the last month... To make up for it, today: a joke every hour till midnight. Starting at 10.

It was awesome meeting @brido @dwangelo and of course Mike D at the @redbarradio LA show! So great that @pizzanachos69 came too! (sarcasm)

How do people not understand how much Whitney sucks? Bring community back, NBC.

@ExtremeXM165 Really? Dropping @redbarradio that quickly? Did you even listen to Mike's show before you added him? Obviously not. #mistake

"Oh shit, I thought you said new years REVOLUTION!" -someone, somewhere

Holy shit! It's like a... We're like totally gonna... It's like we're... It's a thing.