Steven Mandel

Just found out there’s a @Wendys in the next town over that’s open til 1am. So, hello spicy nuggets and baconator fries and goodbye Earth! @chakenheimer

All my good material is going on Threads these days but hey you never know maybe I’ll write something funny here soon.

Side B of Blood & Chocolate. A perfect album side. Thank you @ElvisCostello!

There was a time when all I wanted in life was a Tivoli salad.

Bite-size cupcakes will be the death of us.

Excluding regular coffee, I had approximately 3000 shots of espresso in 2025.

Hey 1.6 billion dollar lottery: You had me at 1

Every day is a blessi

Where is today’s Astral Weeks? @BillLevineShow

The hard part is CONTROLLING YOURSELF

Happy Holidays? You serious?

If Bono went solo, he’d lose his edge.

It all starts with hello.

Hey people who think I’m a dick: How do you know I wouldn’t save your life if given the chance?

Suddenly fine with arugula.

Just completely disappointed in everybody and everything. No big whoop.

Am I the only one in a hurry?

Coffee is my Listerine.

Hey Jude is funny cause there’s like zero intro and then the outro goes on forever. Am I right?

All my hard work is just to get more mashed potatoes.