Erik Watkins

If you’re lucky enough to be friends with a swer, and you’re not a swer yourself, there are a few things I think you should understand about maintaining that friendship. First and foremost, friendship does not entitle you to unlimited access to someone’s time, energy or attention. No matter how close you are, how long you’ve known each other or how much you care about one another. Something people outside of sw don’t always fully understand is the extraordinary amount of emotional labor our profession can require. Much of our work involves anticipating other people’s needs, managing expectations, providing companionship, making people feel appreciated and being consistently attentive and emotionally present. Even when we genuinely love what we do, that level of engagement can be mentally and physically exhausting. Sometimes after spending so much of our time taking care of other people, we simply don’t have anything left to give socially. So we withdraw. We get quiet. We stop responding as frequently. We retreat into our own little worlds for a while. Not because we’re angry. Not because we’ve stopped caring about you. Not because you’ve necessarily done anything wrong. But because sometimes we need to exist without being responsible for another person’s emotional needs. Our silence isn’t necessarily rejection. Sometimes it’s simply recovery. And this is where I think understanding the distinction between emotional intimacy and emotional entitlement becomes incredibly important. Being close to someone doesn’t mean having unrestricted access to them. Loving someone doesn’t mean they’re obligated to be perpetually available to reassure you of that love. When friends begin demanding attention, questioning our absence, keeping score of unanswered messages or making us feel guilty for needing solitude, they inadvertently create the very emotional pressure we’re trying to recover from. Suddenly a friendship that should feel like a safe place becomes another relationship we’re responsible for emotionally managing. And there’s a particular kind of exhaustion that comes from feeling as though you have to perform emotional availability in your personal life after spending so much of your professional life doing exactly that. The irony is that the more someone pressures us to be available, the more likely we are to withdraw. Not because we care about them any less, but because interacting with them has started to feel like another obligation rather than something we can simply enjoy. And before someone inevitably misinterprets this, I’m not suggesting that swers are uniquely exhausted, that our friendships should be one sided or that we’re exempt from being considerate friends. Healthy relationships require reciprocity, communication and mutual respect. I’m simply pointing out that someone can genuinely value your friendship while temporarily lacking the emotional bandwidth to actively participate in it. Those two things are not mutually exclusive. You can miss someone without making them feel guilty for being unavailable. You can care about someone without requiring constant reassurance that they care about you, too. And you can love someone deeply while respecting their need to be left alone. Ultimately, being a good friend isn’t measured by how much access you have to another person. Sometimes it’s measured by how safe you make them feel when they need to step away. If you genuinely want to be someone a swer can turn to for comfort, make sure your friendship doesn’t become another source of emotional pressure they need to recover from. Because sometimes the most meaningful thing you can offer someone whose professional life revolves around meeting other people’s needs is a friendship in which they don’t constantly have to meet yours.

FYI… twitter’s rules explicitly ban escort services and any offline in person sexual services for money. AllMyLinks, Linktree, email or FMTY / worldwide / touring in the bio is an easy way to lose the account under the illegal and regulated behaviors policy. This does not apply to OF/Fansly girls posting labeled adult content and linking their pages, that’s allowed. It does apply to in person providers. Other escorts have already been suspended for the exact same bio setup. One report from someone who is jealous or just doesn’t like you is all it takes if you have any of those things in your profile. The TOS does not mess around.

Apparently, I’m the world’s first OF girl who has never filmed content, doesn’t sell content and in a rather extraordinary plot twist, doesn’t even have an OnlyFans account. Someone contact Guinness World Records. What I find especially entertaining is that incels, self appointed guardians of traditional womanhood and radfems have somehow formed an unlikely bipartisan coalition dedicated to discussing my imaginary pornography. It’s genuinely heartwarming to see people who ordinarily despise one another finally find common ground. Unfortunately, that common ground is a complete fabrication. These delightful little investigators keep assuring me that my children will someday be bullied into suicidal despair because of all the supposedly graphic videos circulating online of me being fucked by hundreds of men, with every anatomical detail on display. Well my defective detectives, I have one very simple request. POST THEM. Seriously. I’m begging you. Produce the evidence. Because apparently there’s an entire porn filmography starring me that even I haven’t had the privilege of watching. Imagine being the leading lady in hundreds of adult productions and never receiving a casting call, a royalty check, or even a complimentary copy. The exploitation! Now for approximately the 51st time, because apparently repetition is the only available teaching method when addressing an audience with the collective reading comprehension of a concussed goldfish. I have never filmed OF content. I have never had an OF. There are no photos of me displaying my various anatomical entrances and exits. I don’t create custom content. I don’t allow clients to photograph or record me. I don’t participate in FaceTime calls, video verification or even phone conversations as part of my personal concierge services. Hell there are approximately four or five people in my PERSONAL life whom I love enough to actually answer the phone for. Everyone else can text me like a civilized person living in the 21st century. And yet, somehow, the incels, tradwives, and radfems have all independently arrived at the same fictional conclusion. Imagine being so committed to disliking someone that you start inventing porn of them and then express moral outrage over the porn you invented. The tradwives are clutching their pearls, the radfems are clutching their manifestos, and the incels are presumably clutching something considerably less dignified. Meanwhile, I’m over here wondering why none of these amateur porn archivists can produce a single frame of footage from my apparently extensive adult film career. At this point, I’m considerably less concerned about my children’s hypothetical future embarrassment than I am about the educational system that produced so many adults incapable of distinguishing between an escort, a porn performer, dommes, submissives and an OnlyFans creator. Hope that clears things up, my little forensic investigators. Although I suspect it won’t. We’re living in a timeline where virtually the entirety of human knowledge is accessible from a device that fits in your pocket, yet people still manage to be aggressively, spectacularly and almost professionally stupid. The internet really is a magical place. It allows people who agree on absolutely nothing to unite in being confidently wrong about the exact same thing.

This is a fascinating little confession. No. Sex workers are not for sale. A service can be purchased. A human being cannot. That’s the distinction between a consensual transaction and human trafficking but thank you for demonstrating why that distinction apparently needs explaining to grown men. What’s particularly revealing is that you seem incapable of distinguishing paying someone for an agreed upon service from acquiring ownership of their body. Does consent cease to exist once money changes hands? Do boundaries become optional? Does payment entitle you to whatever you want, regardless of what the other person agreed to? Because that’s not how consent works. That’s the logic of sexual entitlement and it’s disturbingly adjacent to the reasoning used to justify sexual assault. The fact that you read a tweet about DATING sex workers and immediately started talking about BUYING them tells us considerably more about your perception of women than you probably intended. Imagine being so eager to insult sex workers that you accidentally reveal you don’t understand the difference between consent and ownership. And you thought my statement made no sense. How precious.