Nashville TN
Joined May 2009
I am Tony’s wife and I am sending a message on his Twitter page. It is with my deepest regrets to let you know that Tony passed away 8/6/2025 here at home by my side. He loved this site and loved making everyone laugh. I am so lost without him and life won’t ever be the same.
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If a woman puts her hair in a bun you're either in for long night of passion or getting your ass kicked
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Tony P. retweeted
It’s like I don’t even know what to do with my eyebrows anymore.
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Tony P. retweeted
Eye Doctor: Which one is more clear - one or two? Me: I don't know, what do you think?
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My cat has been looking up at the corner of the ceiling and hissing at it for the past 45 minutes in other news I just put my house up for sale.
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Febreze, because everyones bathroom should smell like an ocean breeze and shit.
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Tony P. retweeted
I'm one of those old people who is constantly shocked by the time. "It's 8:30 already?!" "No way it's noon?!
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Tony P. retweeted
The richest man in the world and still begging for more
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Her: Can I have your pickle? Me: I consent.
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She doesn’t want flowers. She wants a dragon that’ll take her to different Home Goods stores all over the country so she can find special treasures she doesn’t need.
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My home security system is just a copy of my credit report taped to my front door.
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If I knew the highlight of my day was buying bird seed and Metamucil I would have chucked myself off a bridge years ago.
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I have a bad habit of misplacing my sunglasses and making questionable life choices
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Can someone write me a note to get out of being a responsible adult?
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Been in the lab trying to figure out how much Baja Blast I need to drink with my Taco Bell to have ice cold diarrhea.
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Being a VCR repair man in 2025 is not as lucrative as you all may think.
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There’s no better feeling than sliding into a freshly made bed with clean sheets.
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Hey people .... just letting you know wearing deodorant is still in style.
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