Dog owner, mum to a beautiful and opinionated toddler, owner of very little patience but a lot of shoes. Doesn't respond to unsolicited DMs from strangers.
England, United Kingdom
Joined May 2017
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In a world full of discord and argument, there is one thing almost all of us can agree on - Lucy Punch and James Norton are the Mrs Christmas and Father Christmas we didn't know we needed. Thank you @marksandspencer for this little christmas treat. Lovely stuff.
Why does no one warn you before having a child how much of your life from then on will be taken up with stain removal? And why dokids attract filth like sticky little magnets?
Vikki retweeted
The honest side of running a small charity: sometimes it’s really hard.
We’re just over five weeks away from our first adult Superhero Mask Ball for Billy’s Battalion at The Boathouse in Guildford. Of the 100 tickets we need to sell, we’ve sold 42.
The costs are mounting, and I’m feeling so disheartened.
I set up Billy’s Battalion in memory of my little boy, who died from DIPG, an incurable brain tumour, aged four. We’re raising money for research because children like Billy desperately need better options.
There’s so much work and hope behind an event like this. Right now, we need some help getting people through the door.
Could you come along with friends? Bring your colleagues? Or share this with someone who might enjoy a night out for a cause that means everything to us?
Black tie, superhero masks, a buffet, Prosecco on arrival and live music from the Ibiza Band with comedian Alfie Dundas hosting — and a room I’d love to see full of people helping us make a difference in Billy’s name. ❤️🩹
Booking link:
ticketsource.com/billysbash/…
I've just looked in the mirror. I have THREE FUCKING BITES on my FOREHEAD. This is unacceptable behaviour from the mosquitoes. Some shit you just do not do and biting people in the bastarding face is one of them. Cunts. All of them.
We are in Spain! And here's a side effect of perimenopause no one warned me about, previously mosquitos ignored me entirely, this time, I'm getting EATEN ALIVE. I'm up to 15 bites and we've only been here one evening. Itchy as fuck.
Only someone who never does the family packing would see no problem with strolling in the evening before a morning flight to announce that they read the baggage allowance wrong and we in fact have 2 10kg bags less than he said we had. I am fuming, lads.
On the way home from Manchester last night, at dusk, we saw 8 lads in grey and black hoodies leg it across the Northbound M6 toll and stand in the central reservation. They really need to bring back the public information broadcasts that scared the shit out of us in the 80s.
Is it me or is this platform getting madder by the day? I've just seen someone say they think Julia Roberts is a man because they can't see her womb, as if we carry it round like a bumbag.
Anyone who has successfully refereed a kick off from a 4 year old should automatically be considered for a position as a UN diplomatic envoy or a hostage negotiator.
There is nothing so adept at making you feel like a half arsed parent as a school mum's whats app group.
In today's episode of 'Fun with Avanti', they decided to fuck with us all by ensuring the train arrived at the platform on time. Joke's on us though because that is where we still are, sat on the platform, where we have been for some while. Sigh.
The tiger vs man incident at the zoo in Yorkshire certainly seems to have provoked strong opinions on both sides.
Blephs. What even are fucking blephs? Honestly, I don't have the time or the energy to be insecure about all the physical attributes of mine that social media says are now substandard because I'm not a size six 20 year old.
It's Wednesday, PE day in reception class and the parents whats app is packed with parents whose kids have come home in the wrong clothes or with missing items. Including us. Here's hoping Wee Man's school jumper makes it home one day.