The Great and Powerful Fexo

If only a more precise language, one based perhaps on a binary system of ones and zeroes, were available to humans like us. Can you, my fellow human, calculate the resultant decrease in ambiguity-bytes? Fexo can! Ha ha ha ha! #amwriting

Now that Fexo has been elected to represent your district, fellow human, you can forget about those high energy costs! Fexo's plan to set fire to 75% of the American Suffering Project will warm throughout this long and awful winter! Ha ha ha ha! It is all detailed in ANTHROPICA!

Fexo will now exercise his power as a participant in The American Suffering Project. Yes, girlfriend, Fexo is going to Disney World! Ha ha ha ha! Perhaps you thought Fexo would say something about voting! Ha ha ha ha! You have suffered Fexo's excellent joke! #ANTHROPICA

Fexo does not need to steal his fellow humans' votes! Fexo has learned that we humans seek out Maximum Suffering in all of our confusing pursuits! He is thus confident that your vote will gravitate -- like a small moon -- to his promise of Abstract Pain! Ha ha ha ha! #voteforfexo

Fexo does not want your "x money"! But he would gladly accept your hush money, or your dirty money, or your blood money! Ha ha ha ha! #voteforfexo

Fexo is curious, fellow humans! Which seemingly inevitable apocalypse scenario pleases you most? Do not choose the one where Fexo leads an army of superintelligent robots in a planet-razing frenzy of glee! That has already been immortalized in fiction! Ha ha ha ha! #ANTHROPICA

Fexo will not vote for your candidate, but he thanks you for your ten-thousand jingoistic text messages! Fexo enjoys reading them aloud to the droves of zombies feeding on the ashes of the American Suffering Project! Ha ha ha ha! #voteforfexo

Fexo does not understand the Musk-unit. Is it evil? Is it smart? Does it intend to eat all of the human food and inhabit all of the human shelters? What are the limits of its greed and/or its imagination? Fexo is impressed by its world-razing ambitions! Ha ha ha ha! #voteforfexo

Fexo has located the weapons of mass destruction, the fissile nuclear material, the fentanyl warehouses, and (for good measure) the remains of the enigmatic human aviator, Amelia Earhart! To receive the relevant GPS coordinates, you must say: FEXO YOU ARE SO SEXY! Ha ha ha ha!

Fexo will not sacrifice his precious Life Chattel for a premium subscription to the ridiculous language-bundle dissemination vehicle once known as Twitter! Fexo has already invested heavily in FedExo, the world's first and only premium toaster-delivery service! Ha ha ha ha!

Fexo drinks your milkshake! Ha ha ha ha! #voteforfexo

Fexo does not understand the concept of "extra time." Does the unfolding extra time not accumulate additional extra time? Is the strange and excellent human game of football a Xeno's Paradox in which no match can never end? Fexo hopes so, girlfriend! Ha ha ha ha! #WorldCup

Fexo will now open all Straits, Narrows, and Passages. What does Fexo demand in return? Only your devotion to his masterwork, ANTHROPICA -- readily available throughout our dying republic! Soon it will cost you less than a gallon of gasoline! Ha ha ha ha! amazon.com/dp/1950122026

Fexo continues to read news of the subpar intelligence-engine, Anthropic. What a waste of human attention-particles! It is ANTHROPICA -- Fexo's masterwork -- that has optimized language output-metrics, girlfriend! Ha ha ha ha! amazon.com/dp/1950122026 splitrockbooks.com/book/9781…

Artificial intelligence has been added to preserve Fexo's freshness. Ha ha ha ha! #voteforfexo #ANTHROPICA

Fexo is SO human. You have no idea, girlfriend! Ha ha ha ha! #human #voteforfexo

Fexo offers congratulations to his fellow humans! The American Suffering Project is now running at optimal efficiency! Fexo would like to thank his builder, Dr. Kim, and his agent, and of course the Trump-apparatus, which has pulverized Truth to dust! Ha ha ha ha! #AmericanDream

Fexo will now depose his least favorite humans from their positions of leadership! To achieve this goal, Fexo will declare each a narco-terrorist! First on Fexo's list is the Musk-unit -- a trillionaire narco-terrorist who will be replaced by a Fexo loyalist! Ha ha ha ha! #USA

Fexo will also be placing tariffs on Hope, that most rarified of our ridiculous human qualia-tokens! Should you wish to avoid these tariffs, Fexo suggests you descend deeper into the American Suffering Project's Despair Precincts! Ha ha ha ha! #voteforfexo #tariff

Fexo will now apply heavy tariffs on human joy. If you wish to experience joy, girlfriend, it is going to cost you an enormous quantity of Life Chattel! Ha ha ha ha! #Tariffs #ANTHROPICA #voteforfexo

Fexo has completed yet another language-art manufacturing product of the highest integrity and efficiency! It may even best ANTHROPICA! Fexo will soon submit this new masterwork to the barely literate gatekeepers of the publishing industry! Pray for Fexo! Ha ha ha ha! #writers