@ThomasAwful

Baltimore bookseller. once wrote stuff: SFGate, The Ringer, GQ, Complex, Deadspin, Vice, the New Yorker

 Baltimore, MD
Joined December 2008
  • Tweets132K
  • Following4.1K
  • Followers4.7K
Roast Beef. 2010-2023. My best friend in the entire world. You are my entire heart. We love you so much. After thirteen years I honestly don't know what I'm going to do without you. Thank you for making me a better person. Thank you for choosing me.
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Panic attack lasting three hours
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The Kronstadt Gardener ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ธ retweeted
rae ๐Ÿซ @RaeWitte16h
just saw some man on IG refer to intelligence as your โ€œintellectual body countโ€ discussing being in conversation with someone dumber than you
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The Brewers are not being Midwest Nice rn
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My dude is laser focused on making America healthy again.
Bulwark Clips
@BulwarkClips18h
RFK: "There's five hundred million Arabs in the world. And yet they don't produce science. They don't win the Novel Prize. They don't win the Fields Prize. They don't win the Wolf Prize. They don't produce literature."
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What celebrities have you made laugh? I'll skip the big one I always brag about and say I'm very proud of making David Strathairn chortle.
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The Kronstadt Gardener ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ธ retweeted
Adam Friedland
@AdamFriedland19h
Ethan Klein Iโ€™d like to hear your side
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The Kronstadt Gardener ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ธ retweeted
Eric Allen Hatch@ericallenhatchOct 26
Justin Theroux: I know who The Girl is The Cowboy:
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Saw this in the theater and my girlfriend at the time was like "Can you please stop breathing so hard"
Janus Films
@janusfilmsOct 26
Thrilled to announce the 25th Anniversary 4K theatrical re-release of Alfonso Cuarรณn's erotic coming-of-age masterpiece "Y tu mamรก tambiรฉn" Back in theaters spring 2027!
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The Kronstadt Gardener ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ธ retweeted
Rick Perlstein@rickperlsteinOct 26
This is not writing. It's farting.
Matthew Yglesias
@mattyglesiasOct 26
Earnest take: I think itโ€™s probably not healthy for the practice of democratic self-government that so many people have developed strong rooting interests in elections in countries they donโ€™t live in.
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The Kronstadt Gardener ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ธ retweeted
Hillary Clinton
@HillaryClinton26 Oct 2016
Happy birthday to this future president.
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Matthew Yglesias
@mattyglesiasOct 26
Earnest take: I think itโ€™s probably not healthy for the practice of democratic self-government that so many people have developed strong rooting interests in elections in countries they donโ€™t live in.
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The Kronstadt Gardener ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ธ retweeted
Whitey@Whitey_83Oct 25
Got scared at the pumpkin patch
Oilfield Rando
@Oilfield_RandoOct 25
Went to a pumpkin patch in a bigger town. 200 million deportations. Minimum.
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The Kronstadt Gardener ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ธ retweeted
Eric Allen Hatch@ericallenhatchOct 25
when a Twin Peaks character thinks they know what year it is
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The Kronstadt Gardener ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ธ retweeted
DeMar DeRozan
@DeMar_DeRozanOct 25
You ever just sit in a dark room and feel like the darkness is the only thing that truly understands you. No fake smiles, no false hope. Just raw bitter silenceโ€ฆ
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ืื™ืชืžืจ ื‘ืŸ ื’ื‘ื™ืจ
@itamarbengvirOct 25
ื”ืžื—ื‘ืœื™ื ื‘ื›ืœื ืœื‘ื™ื ื™ืฉื‘ื• ื•ืื’ืจื• ืžื”ืžืขื˜ ืžื–ื•ืŸ ืฉื™ืฉ ืœื”ื. ื›ืฃ ืจื™ื‘ื” ื•ืขื•ื“ ื›ืฃ ืจื™ื‘ื”, ืคืจื•ืกืช ืœื—ื ื•ืขื•ื“ ืคืจื•ืกืช ืœื—ื, ื›ืš ื‘ืžืฉืš ื›ืžื” ื™ืžื™ื, ื”ื›ืœ ื›ื“ื™ ืœื”ื›ื™ืŸ ืขื•ื’ื” ืžืื•ืœืชืจืช ื•ืœื—ื’ื•ื’ ื‘ื™ื•ื ืฉืœื™ืฉื™, ื‘ืžื™ื“ื” ื•ืœื ืื‘ื—ืจ. ืืœื ืฉื ืฆื™ื‘ ืฉื‘ืดืก ื”ืžืฆื•ื™ืŸ ื•ืื ืฉื™ื• ืื™ืชืจื• ืืช ื”ืขื•ื’ื”, ื•ื”ืืกื™ืจื™ื ื”ื•ืขืžื“ื• ืœื“ื™ืŸ ืžืฉืžืขืชื™, ื•ื”ื•ืขื‘ืจื• ืœืฆื™ื ื•ืง. ื”ื ื›ื‘ืจ ืชื›ื ื ื• ืืช ื”ื—ื’ื™ื’ื•ืช, ืื‘ืœ ืืฆืœื ื• ื ื’ืžืจื” ื”ื—ื’ื™ื’ื”. ื‘ื™ื•ื ืฉืœื™ืฉื™ ืืกื•ืจ ืœืชืช ืœื”ื ืœื—ื’ื•ื’, ืžืฆื‘ื™ืขื™ื ื‘ืณ ื‘ืงืœืคื™!
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The Kronstadt Gardener ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ธ retweeted
Mad Men Quotes@MadMenQtsOct 24
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Skip should bay less
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T'Pol didn't need to do this
Twiggy โœถ@doemisuOct 24
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