Toarn

Methods for calming down a newborn. Mine: Rock at a frequency of 0.672 Hz, hum Beethoven's 3rd Symphony at 30 dB and finally, recreate Simone Biles 2016 floor routine. Wife: Boobs

*Watching Princess Bride* "We should tell everyone we are changing her name to Buttercup"

"My leg is dead....but I can move my TOES!!!" *wiggles toes emphatically*

"Stupid blood pressure cuff...you have no right to hurt more than anything else."

Nurse: "Want some crackers?" Wife: "....what kind?" Nurse: "Regular, saltiness, graham,.." Wife: "GRAHAM, YESSSSS"

"I threw that at you in case you needed it."

"OH, so that was a contraction?!?"

Quotes from my wife over the course of her labor so far

New Washington fan inbound, just 2 more weeks! @washjustice @overwatchleague

My wife at the moment.

Britt is back to working in person which means I have the house to myself during the day....not a fan.

Demo day at work means the fancy button down and tie with my basketball shorts.

My wife would make a great pixar princess, just saying.