Toarn

Methods for calming down a newborn. Mine: Rock at a frequency of 0.672 Hz, hum Beethoven's 3rd Symphony at 30 dB and finally, recreate Simone Biles 2016 floor routine. Wife: Boobs

"My leg is dead....but I can move my TOES!!!" *wiggles toes emphatically*

"Stupid blood pressure cuff...you have no right to hurt more than anything else."

Nurse: "Want some crackers?" Wife: "....what kind?" Nurse: "Regular, saltiness, graham,.." Wife: "GRAHAM, YESSSSS"

"I threw that at you in case you needed it."

"OH, so that was a contraction?!?"

New Washington fan inbound, just 2 more weeks! @washjustice @overwatchleague

My wife at the moment.

Britt is back to working in person which means I have the house to myself during the day....not a fan.

Demo day at work means the fancy button down and tie with my basketball shorts.

My wife would make a great pixar princess, just saying.

The house feels extremely empty now that Britt is back in person. Just me and our ever abused plants.

Getting drunk with your wife is severely underrated.

Hey @overwatchleague , really like the no spoilers filter on the website but shouldn't the site default to the filter on, not off?

Sitting here at home and coding the day away. I like keeping #Starshipsn11 launch streams on in the background while I work. Here's to a successful landing this afternoon! @SpaceX @elonmusk @NASASpaceflight youtube.com/watch?v=XCUGKZFI…

Just booked plane tickets for our honeymoon, here's to covid being beat by this fall!

First high altitude flight of #starship today, should be awesome! The first time we will be seeing a rocket go up that theoretically us laymen could ride someday.

People give @Tinder shit, but occasionally it works out. :D