Bacon Buttie munching decrepid ex rugby player, older than pyramids planning application.Oval balls are harder to juggle 🏉
Tortoiseland
Joined November 2020
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No one bothered to tell me that slap a co-worker day wasn't real.
In other news, slap an irritating boss day isn't real either.
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2:12 going to save the other half of this sarnie for later.
2:17 Have to eat the other half of that sarnie, and maybe a kit kat.
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It would have been a huge Mcsteak for for Macdonalds to put a large sirloin sandwich on the menu.
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I have an irrational fear of driving on underground roads whilst I have passengers in the car.
My doctor seems to think it's carpool tunnel syndrome.
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My Sister met her husband at a scrabble tournament 25 years ago, and next week they're going to renew their vowels.
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I bought my wife a new diamond ring in 1992 and she divorced me.
I bought my son a Macdonalds in 1989, and he's still around🤔
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My girlfriend asked how I view lesbian relationships.
It would appear, "QD-OLED," wasn't the expected answer.
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Tolly 🐢💨 🇬🇧🇪🇺🇨🇦🇮🇪 retweeted
Nazi terror gang National Action was proscribed by a Tory Home Secretary in 2016 after members plotted to kill a police officer. The plot was thwarted. Most of its members have since been convicted of terrorist offences and jailed. Ban Turning Point UK.
bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c63r…
Tolly 🐢💨 🇬🇧🇪🇺🇨🇦🇮🇪 retweeted
Im so glad that Kellogg’s have started putting toys in their cereal again like the used to when I was growing up in the 60s. I just got this in my cornflakes.
I was arrested yesterday morning, just for playing my music too loud in the vegetable garden.
I've been charged with disturbing the peas.
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