Tommee.eth

idgaf that nobody asked for my 2¢, and I do not know the full Eli, Redbeard, blah blah blah story, so this is not commentary on that situation. Instead, this is my hot take on the repetitive “gatekeeping” discourse overall, and I already know some people will not like it. Sorry not sorry. 🌶️ Side note, shoutout to the people who already get it.. same frequency, iykyk. 😎 OK, here is what I keep observing: When notable people create something that benefits an entire community, the appreciation often comes with an unspoken condition, as though their visibility, success, or resources permanently obligated them to provide access to everyone. Then, the moment they do a selective project with a few high-performing people they already know, trust, or have longstanding relationships with, suddenly it is “cabal, cabal, cabal,” followed by endless complaints about closed gates. People in the community get fooled by it all the time (misery loves company) when a lot of the noise is not actual advocacy against gatekeeping. It is almost always just a majority of salty individuals who are blame-shifting and dressing up their hurt ego as speaking up for the underdogs. Virtue signaling looks better than the truth, its still just spin tho, and misplaced energy. Open gates have never been owed to you, sweetie. Not because you were early, loyal, overlooked, talented, supportive, or whatever other reason you have decided should have guaranteed your inclusion. And when people say, “They should have included more people,” they often mean, “They should have included me.” The contradiction is that many of the same people demanding an open gate would be perfectly happy for it to close behind them once they got inside. Had they been selected, they would not be posting about cabals. They would be posting inspirational threads about perseverance, community, and how “If I can make it anyone else can too.” Because now they were invited. Now they were special. Now they were inside. Personally, I did not come here hoping that one day a scenefluencer, thought leader, collector with a bag, or person holding a gate would validate my art. I am an artist who chooses to share my work in this scene, and outside of it, come what may. It's nice when it happens, organically, but do I hang my worth on the opinion and inclusion from any specific people at the top? Oh hell no. lol There is a very stark difference between those two identities. Learning to recognize which one you are operating from can determine whether you eventually move forward or spend years resenting everyone who did. The things that make up who I am, my perspective, experience, behavior, work ethic, relationships, and the signature style of my work, collectively form a key that is unique to me. That key will open certain gates at certain times. It will not open every gate, in every scene, for every opportunity. Early in my career, when I scheduled models for go-sees in the New York editorial fashion industry (early 00's), I repeatedly gave them the same advice. It applies to nearly every competitive field, and it is one of the distinctions between people who eventually build a career inside the gates meant for them and people who become defeated by the self-inflicted rejection they die on a hill about. Every single opportunity is built around a particular productions need, theme, aesthetic, personality, skill set, or existing relationship. You will not always be the person who fits it. A no today is never a verdict on your overall worth. It only means your key did not open that specific gate this time. There will be so many other events, projects, people, and opportunities. New ones appear constantly when you continue looking, working, and showing up. Eventually, what you offer will be exactly what someone needs, sometimes even from the same people who weren't looking for you yesterday. Success isn't hidden behind every gate that's closed. Stop staring at closed gates as though your future was locked behind them. Literally nobody is doing that TO you. Your real progress comes from recognizing and walking through the ones that open, while continuing to knock on new ones. Patience, humility, consistency, reliability, and grace in the face of rejection matter. Everyone evolves on different timelines, people remember your skill, but they also remember your character, professionalism, and how you behaved when you were not chosen. An opportunity that was not right for you today may still become a relationship that opens a different door later. There is no cabal. Keep going. 🔑