giving tourists advice in this fucking podunk town with mountains

Vancouver, British Columbia
Joined February 2016
the only way Vancouver can get less cool: drown it. xitter.cf/georgiastraight/status…
Top story: Metro #Vancouver windstorm offers a peek into a future with higher sea levels ow.ly/Zohbz
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The best market in the city= things police steal and sell to make more dough. #VPD #BeyondTheCall #YVR xitter.cf/VancityBuzz/status/708…
Even vancouver newspapers cover Hawaii's news instead of Vancouver's. xitter.cf/VancityBuzz/status/708…
Never-before-seen ‘ghost’ octopus discovered in Hawaiian waters ow.ly/ZbZVI
. @scienceworldca to takeover Georgia & Granville from 2-4pm today with living works of ‘animal’ art. Stop by & take a selfie! #Vancouver
YOU'RE TRAPPED HERE FOREVER. GOOD LUCK. #yvr xitter.cf/VancouverSun/status/70…
Technical glitch causing long lineups at Vancouver airport ow.ly/ZjAlX #YVR
8 baby bunnies need names & we need YOU to help us! Click the link to submit suggestions! ow.ly/ZjA5Q
good job with that cone, shit is well marked. xitter.cf/ParkBoard/status/70799…
Our street tree teams are out in force clearing downed trees such as this one in Arbutus Ridge #BCStorm #Vancouver
#CdnPolitics: we finally succeeded in electing a prime minister hip enough to snowboard. Tax dolla$= Season pa$$! xitter.cf/VancityBuzz/status/706…
ICYMI: Prime Minister Justin Trudeau spotted snowboarding at Whistler (PHOTOS) ow.ly/YUArH
Top three free activities for tourists today in Vancouver! 1. Go back to sleep. 2. Imitate the locals! Do nothing. 3. Nothing. #YVRevents
BREAKING: Fake gladiator games continue for dillusioned masses. #UFC196
BREAKING: locals flee to the hills as soon as freed from oppressive clouds. #YVRnews
Vancouver even pretends it is other cities. #FakeSeattle xitter.cf/yvrshoots/status/70589…
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This is great news for tourists! Finally something to do. xitter.cf/604Now/status/70620782…
IHOP is offering FREE pancakes this Tuesday! ow.ly/Z6HR8
Truth. Our storm drains do love drinking @PremierBradWall's tears instead of coffee in the morning. xitter.cf/TorranceCoste/status/7…
I'm glad the Premiers' #climate session is in #yvr, the one city with a storm drain system capable of dealing with @PremierBradWall's tears.
Sunny, still nothing to do except run people over on the seawall. #YVR
This city: worse than a dried cheese grater? #YVR #Survey #exploreBC
Have you ever looked at the Tinder in this city? What is wrong with this place? #YVR #NoFunCity
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