CSU
Fort Collins, CO
Joined January 2013
- Tweets76
- Following348
- Followers151
- Likes745
Tristan Maypole retweeted
Ok, picture this:
You're standing face-to-face with your past self on Jan. 1, 2020. Your past self is about to embark on this dumpster fire of a year, no idea what's in store.
In exactly 4 words, what advice would you give them?
Post your answer here: hitrecord.app.link/2020advic…
Tristan Maypole retweeted
Oh so I show up to a bottomless mimosa party pantless and I’m the fucking weirdo. Sure. Okay. Whatever.
Tristan Maypole retweeted
Often Politicians tell us lies we want to hear rather than truths we need to know — leaving one to ask whether they should be followers of our desires or leaders of our needs.
Tristan Maypole retweeted
The problem with going down the wrong path is sometimes you take people with you. I'm not where I need to be but I'm refocused and hopeful.
Does anyone else watch The Office enough that the scenes from it randomly pop into your head all the time?
Tristan Maypole retweeted
All right, you're the expert. Is this enough to get 20 people plastered? Clerk: 15 bottles of vodka, that should do it.
Tristan Maypole retweeted
In an ideal world, I would have all 10 fingers on my left hand so my right hand could just be a fist for punching.
Tristan Maypole retweeted
Easily win any staring contest by slowly going in for a kiss without breaking eye contact.