my teacher handed out the study guide for our midterm and i took one look at it and realized i was absolutely cooked. i just stared at the paper and muttered, "fuck me sideways with a lunchbox." THE KID NEXT TO ME LITERALLY FELL OUT OF HIS CHAIR LAUGHING. THAT'S WHEN I REALIZED I'D SAID IT OUT LOUD AND THE ENTIRE CLASS HAD HEARD ME. I DIDN'T FAIL THE MIDTERM THAT DAY, BUT I DEFINITELY FAILED AT KEEPING MY THOUGHTS TO MYSELF.