*STAR*

Sorry im poor i cant afford to pay attention.

Who remembers when being on a group was a Purim mobile not a what's app group....

My worst fear is laughing at a joke I don’t understand and having someone ask me to explain it.

People who know me both on the internet and in real life must be so confused

One thing is for sure, since Bloomberg left office, alternetside parking has been suspended every day, tomorrow again

I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.

I was going to quit all my bad habits for the new year, but then I remembered that nobody likes a quitter.

Warning: Dont go out from your house at 11:59 tonight because it will take U to come back 'A YUR MIT A MITVUCH'

I need my glasses to find my glasses, do you see my problem...

That awkward moment when you're trying to end a conversation and the other person won't stop talking

I’m old enough to know what’s bad for me and young enough to do it.

Why can’t I lose weight easily I mean I lose everything else without a problem.

I want to travel the world but i also want to stay home in bed

You can tell a lot about a woman’s mood just by her hands. For example, if she is holding a gun she’s probably angry.

Dentists make money off of people with bad teeth..... Why should I trust the toothpaste they recommend?

My bed is a magical place where I can suddenly remember everything I was supposed to do.

A quiet man is a thinking man. A quite woman is usually mad...

Sometimes the wrong choices lead you to the right places.

"Weak people revenge. Strong people forgive. Intelligent people ignore."

Why doesn’t Mexico have an Olympic team? Because anybody who can run, jump and swim is already in the U.S.