myself · Sep 19, 2026 · 1:30 PM UTC

myself

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myself@UpstateBatmanSep 19

Just got high and drunk and woke up feeling alcohol hungover and weed hungover

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JEFF · Sep 9, 2026 · 2:35 PM UTC

myself retweeted

JEFF

@jeffisrael25Sep 9

Just paid $4.27/g for gas in suburban Massachusetts but knowing that it’s now called Lake America makes it all worth it

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myself · Sep 6, 2026 · 9:15 PM UTC

myself@UpstateBatmanSep 6

Found out about a dorm party on my floor the next day

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myself · Aug 1, 2026 · 7:31 PM UTC

myself@UpstateBatmanAug 1

Not one bet all week to maximize earnings on Friday’s ten leg parlay

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Mike Beauvais · Jul 1, 2026 · 11:40 PM UTC

myself retweeted

Mike Beauvais@MikeBeauvaisJul 1

Jayson: “Deuce. Buddy, come here, Daddy has to tell you something” Deuce: “what is it dad is it a ice cweam twip” Jayson: “No buddy. I’m sorry. Uncle Jay.. Uncle Jaylen got traded for Paul George.” Deuce: “Paul George?! Are you fucking kidding? Isn’t he like 40?!”

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Hassan Mafi ‏ · Jun 23, 2026 · 12:30 PM UTC

myself retweeted

Hassan Mafi ‏

@thatdayin1992Jun 23

Americans realizing it is illegal to touch water in public but if you touch children on private islands you will become the president of the US

TMZ

@TMZJun 22

Woman Allegedly Cited After Dipping Hand Into Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool tmz.com/2026/06/22/woman-cit…

Woman Allegedly Cited After Dipping Hand Into Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool

The Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool is getting treated like the Mona Lisa these days ... and one woman got a ticket to prove it.

tmz.com

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rhaenyra targaryen's lawyer · Jun 6, 2026 · 10:16 AM UTC

myself retweeted

rhaenyra targaryen's lawyer@Targ_NationJun 6

A father. A husband. A patriot. We miss you Robb Stark.

Image from rhaenyra targaryen's lawyer (@Targ_Nation)

House Republicans

@HouseGOPFeb 25

A father. A husband. A patriot. We miss you Charlie.

Image from House Republicans (@HouseGOP)

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Milfski · May 26, 2026 · 1:03 PM UTC

myself retweeted

Milfski@Nilkski_May 26

I’ve never seen a family in a cybertruck. Just an ugly dude by himself.

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myself · May 20, 2026 · 1:21 AM UTC

myself@UpstateBatmanMay 20

At first glance i thought this was a beautiful shot and then i noticed the dog at the bottom and this might just be the greatest wedding photo ive ever come across in my lifetime

kat

@yslnadiMay 16

if i had this as a wedding photo i’d genuinely never fucking shut up about it holy shit

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☆gertie popadom☆ · May 10, 2026 · 3:56 PM UTC

myself retweeted

☆gertie popadom☆@gertiepopadomMay 10

putting bluey on the telly and getting on Snapchat to pretend you've had sex #class

i like food

@messedupfoodsMay 8

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Tijdij · May 10, 2026 · 4:08 AM UTC

myself retweeted

Tijdij@TiijdijMay 10

Me removing OK Computer from my top 10 albums after hearing my 11th album

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myself · Apr 26, 2026 · 1:41 AM UTC

myself@UpstateBatmanApr 26

RT @RightWingCope: BREAKING: Trump evacuated from White House Correspkndents dinner after Kash Patel screamed “SHOTS SHOTS!!” to the barten…

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Three Year Letterman · Apr 16, 2026 · 3:52 PM UTC

myself retweeted

Three Year Letterman

@3YearLettermanApr 16

I absolutely cannot top this

Clash Report

@clashreportApr 16

Pete Hegseth quoted a fake Bible verse from Pulp Fiction during a Pentagon sermon.

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Impressions · Mar 1, 2026 · 5:50 PM UTC

myself retweeted

Impressions

@impression_istsMar 1

Sunday by Monet

Image from Impressions (@impression_ists)

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Offseason Papi · Feb 10, 2026 · 6:54 PM UTC

myself retweeted

Offseason Papi@FenwayAttendeeFeb 10

Red Sox home runs projections, per FenwayAttendee Labs 🔺Abreu - 47 🔺Anthony - 162 🔺Story - 26 🔺Contreras - 32 🔺Duran - 88 🔺Rafaela - 63 🔺Casas - 30 🔺Campbell - 18 🔺Durbin - 57 🔺Narváez - 22 🔺Eaton - 13 🔺Mayer - 21 🔺Yoshida - 75

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Isaiah Thomas · Jan 24, 2026 · 7:58 PM UTC

myself retweeted

Isaiah Thomas

@isaiahthomasJan 24

6 guys beating the shit outta ONE person then KILLING him!! Fuck the ICE agents. 6 against one and yall still shoot and kill somebody. Yall had him out numbered and decided to KILL him like it was a video game and he can just he his life back smh

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