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Chelsea Smith (much like the soccer team) is hilarious. – at Hazel Park, MI

At a restaurant in Michigan and halfway through my meal one of the waitresses runs in the kitchen and yells "ranch 911!" Which means she forgot the ranch. Anyway, that's the most Michigan thing that's ever happened in my life much less since I got back. #puremichigan #ranch

Bars with hooks under them are the dresses with pockets of the restaurant world.

What a time to be alive, and wondering if you do live in the the movie Idiocracy. youtu.be/fn8hXrGeRmo

I’ve hit the point of life that the smartest person I know is a 55 year old merchant marine who’s on the dish pit and killing it.

There is about the same amount of evidence tying @DalaiLama to pedophilia as tying drag queens to grooming.

Super fun watching an internet mob attack @DalaiLama like there is a long history of him/Buddhism and pedophilia.

Nah, too busy getting good advice from @TedLasso and Shrinking. Thanks though!

This is so hard to watch on so many levels. The food looks fantastic though. Why eating culturally relevant foods is important msnbc.com/american-voices/wa… via @msnbc

Beach Boys

One of my favorites

I’ll set my watch! Thanks for the reply. You’re a mensch.

Most of my life I refused to eat shellfish but since moving down here I’ve been really into making shrimp tacos. Annoyed I forgot to get cabbage to shred but this is hands down my best batch so far. 🦐 instagram.com/p/CoGeJhHjhgp/… – at New Orleans, LA

@VDOOZER I don’t tweet much but just 1000 times thank you. #scrubs #cougartown #TedLasso #Shrinking

@jswaggdaddy @Lions

Just posted a photo @ Chalmette Historical Battle Field instagram.com/p/CjTxz2groOlv… – at Chalmette, LA

The amount of time I’ve been debating between buying a shelf or leaving New Orleans is palpable.

If the “It’s Corn” kid isn’t a millionaire yet, the system is more broken than we thought…

Tava Indian Street Food: “So good, the guy from @UB40OFFICIAL ate there 2 days in a row.”

Should I tweet more?