Vampire Alarm

"I #vote @randomactsorg as my favorite nonprofit to #UpgradeYourWorld #TeamVikingWenchesRA

I hate it when my breakfast food fight. I don't get homophobic pancakes. Just get in my belly. #IDGHP #GISHWHES2014

I don't get homophobic pancakes. Or steroid using sausages. Or Bullying bacon. Why can't breakfast get along? #gishwhes #IDGHP

I don't get homophobic pancakes. Why you gotta be like that? Everyone needs love. #IDGHP #GISHWHES

Beep beep bitches. #CrowleyForKing

*Singing as loud as I can* Wake me up before you go go. *Plastic dance moves*

Let Crowley out of the trunk. Evil leaders must stick together.#PoweredByEvil

*plays my kazoo to the tune of 70's porn music* Wake up, Minions. #PoweredByEvil

Why do I not have 500 followers yet? You fools, don't you know greatness when you see it? #PoweredByEvil

Incompetent human! You are lucky I am #PoweredbyEVIL! You have placed those batteries in the incorrect nighttime device. Again.

Minions, why do insist on attempting to snooze. You wake when I command it. #PoweredByEvil

Wake up, heathens. This is your master calling. #PoweredByEvil

Hey, lint lickers! Wake up. *plays my banjo as loud as I can*

Wakey wakey, breathers. *practices my yodeling as loud as I can*

Happy birthday @mishacollins I give you the gift of height #gishwhes