Santa

SECRET SANTA 2023 SIGNUPS HO HO HO, THIS YEAR I’VE GOT A FULL SLEIGH AND EVEN FULLER BALLS: forms.gle/qg9om9Hqqth6b9vXA

People. Shall we ride once more?

I’m in Korea hitting the aunties with my best BULGOGI JUSEYOOOoooOo KAMSAHAMNIDA 🙇🏼🙇🏼🙇🏼

I was just in the shower and realized we didn’t do Secret Santa this year. I failed. I didn’t open this app for an extended period. Perhaps it was for the best, with the show on hiatus and all. I’m going to put on those 3 good songs Creed made and air-drum through the tears.

someone post that picture of the guy next to fen on the airplane getting hit with noxious gas

Got a little bit of food poisoning here in Mexico. I have eaten wild shit with abandon for years, but we are officially on #shartwatch for the next few days. Here’s to hoping I don’t slip up and spray the inside of my boxer briefs. diarrhea

i think i need a different electrician for this

I’m at this Japanese curry place. The chef and owner is the green power ranger from the original series in Japan.

I’m eating at the Mexican version of Waffle House. $5 breakfast. Sadly no truckers or crying drunks though

Mike Tyson is only 2 days younger than my dad. What a fuckin machine.

mfs acting like they above a horse-show JO

Alabama and Oh*o are the two shittiest states in the country and the world is better for their sports-induced suffering. You’re welcome. I have $24k in student loan debt to the University of Michigan but Jesus H Christ thank god I’m not from those shitholes.

All people have been sent their secret santa matches. If you didn't get yours, hit me up.

JUST HEAR THOSE SLEIGH BELLS JINGLING, RING-TING-TINGLING TOOOOO COME ON IT'S LOVELY WEATHER FOR A SLEIGH RIDE TOGETHER, VISHNUUUUUU

I POURED ACTAVIS IN MY EGG NOG THIS MORNING

If you fucked up and didn’t fill out this fuckin form but meant to, I am GRANTING YOU AMNESTY to fill it out FULLY before 8AM EASTER GOTTDAMN STANDARD TIME tomorrow morning. AMNESTY! forms.gle/skxYfCWda7F5qxjNA

PINK VISCOUS LIQUID