Steve Dublanica (@WaiterRantz) profile picture

Steve Dublanica

@WaiterRantz

Author of the NYT Bestseller Waiter Rant and the funny but authoritative guide to tipping, Keep the Change.

 New York Metro Area
waiterrant.net
Joined April 2009
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Photo by Steve Dublanica (@WaiterRantz)Photo by Steve Dublanica (@WaiterRantz)Photo by Steve Dublanica (@WaiterRantz)Photo by Steve Dublanica (@WaiterRantz)Photo by Steve Dublanica (@WaiterRantz)Photo by Steve Dublanica (@WaiterRantz)Photo by Steve Dublanica (@WaiterRantz)
waiterrant.net/2026/08/nothi…

Nothing Less Will Do - Waiter Rant

My wife and I arrived to pick our daughter up from cheerleading practice but, since we were early, decided to use the extra time to take our dog for a walk. Looking at the fields where two hundred...

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waiterrant.net/2026/04/long-…

Long Tube With a Bunch of Demons - Waiter Rant

After thanking my host for putting me up in his Costa Rican home for a week, I climbed into my Uber and began my journey away from sun, surf, margaritas and back to the real world.  If I knew what...

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waiterrant.net/2025/12/shado…

Shadows & Light - Waiter Rant

I was driving to do some Christmas shopping with my family when we passed the cemetery where my father’s mortal remains are interred. As the massive white marble clad mausoleum rose into view I said,...

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waiterrant.net/2025/10/paten…
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waiterrant.net/2025/08/drago…

Dragonfly - Waiter Rant

I woke up with a nagging pain in my right arm, which didn’t surprise me since I’d been afflicted with what I figured was a bad case of tendonitis all week. Because I’d rolled onto the offending limb...

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waiterrant.net/2025/07/how-t…

How The Tables Have Turned and Burned  - Waiter Rant

I was in a German restaurant perched on a mountainside near Lake Tahoe getting pissed off. I don’t know what it was, but I got a vibe from the staff that we weren’t wanted. Judging from the crappy...

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Crossing The Street waiterrant.net/2025/07/cross… via @waiterrantz

Crossing The Street - Waiter Rant

A few nights ago, I was walking home with my daughter from a nearby restaurant when we stopped at a light to cross the street. The day had been unbearably hot, but an approaching cold front was...

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waiterrant.net/2025/04/whats…

What’s In a Name? - Waiter Rant

Now that Pope Francis has gone to his heavenly reward, the handicapping and media hoopla over who’ll be the next Supreme Pontiff is underway. Although Francis stacked the deck, appointing eighty...

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Just in time for Easter! waiterrant.net/2025/04/pope-…
Pope Sixtus Strikes Back - Waiter Rant

Pope Sixtus Strikes Back  - Waiter Rant

Now in the twelfth year of my reign and sick of all the ecclesiastical bullshit, I, Pope Sixtus VI, Bishop of Rome, Vicar of Jesus Christ, Successor of the Prince of the Apostles, Supreme Pontiff of...

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New posts: waiterrant.net/2025/03/homes… And waiterrant.net/2025/03/somet…

Homesick - Waiter Rant

As Renee and I walked down the main drag of Playas del Coco the noonday sun was beating down like Vulcan’s hammer and I could feel the UV rays busily mutating my skin’s DNA. Even though the humidity...

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waiterrant.net/2025/03/stayi…

Staying Chill  - Waiter Rant

Almost as soon as my wife’s plane lifted off the tarmac for California, my daughter said, “Remember you promised to take me to the escape room.” “My word is my bond,” I replied. I knew once we got...

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waiterrant.net/2025/03/makin…

Making Things Worse? - Waiter Rant

When I got back from Hawaii, I was greeted with a snowy negative eighty degree temperature swing and, to add insult to injury, was forced to dig out my driveway before we could unload our luggage...

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Aloha - Waiter Rant

When I was in seminary, one of my professors told me, “Before God, there was a sense of the sacred.” Long before people started theologizing, they looked at the rising sun, thunderstorms, mighty...

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waiterrant.net/2024/11/out-o…

Out of Control  - Waiter Rant

Malignancies, car crashes  Power’s decisions rash  Politics, war, ideological clash Terror marring summer skies Buildings imploding, cutting short lives Death, loss, insanity, sundering ties Young...

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For those of you defecting from X, I'm also posting at waiterrant.bsky.social
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waiterrant.net/2024/11/autum…

Autumn Morning Jog  - Waiter Rant

On morning kissed streets Mercuries fleet streak past As mothers perambulating, solidarity meet Whilst old men for whom the die’s cast Each other knowingly greet. The shopkeeper with wares Opening...

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waiterrant.net/2024/11/satan…

Satanic Mills  - Waiter Rant

Huddled masses, yearning to be free Enslaved to needs of you and me Grow our crops, tend our fields Beneath hard men who refuse to yield. Packing impulsive desires  Things they can’t afford to...

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waiterrant.net/2024/11/affli…

Affliction, Wrath, & Need - Waiter Rant

The Golden Mouthed, he was the one Singing about the Father, Spirit, & Son  Chorusing Triune creeds Beseeching deliverance from affliction, wrath and need.  Old words, on Sunday’s reverent intoned...

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waiterrant.net/2024/11/wildf…

Wildfires Of No Consequence  - Waiter Rant

Billowing menace, acrid scents  Old growth, saplings charring together  While out of sight, fawns distressed race And the owl’s perch succumbs.  Golden hordes breaching firebreaks  Rapine alight...

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