If you're cold. They're cold. Just an annual reminder to take your plants inside, you Spinster.

No one at this christening has told me I'm dressed better than the baby and tbh I'm starting to get offended.

When you and bae start using the same detergent #justgirlythings #garbage instagram.com/p/BEyicXXSIwE/

Can't tell if Pinterest is still easing out the Holiday pins or if everything I search for has underlying Christmas themes.

My bedroom aesthetic is Big Game Drag Queen Hunter Trophy Room.

And you will hold me close. And you keep me safe. And rain... Will make the flowers grow.… instagram.com/p/-g7WWFyI43/

Don't mind me just eye fucking a Carrot on #Halloween

#ineedfeminismbecause I'm tired of being called a Witch when I'm good at something. Some people are just good at stealing the souls of kids!

When my kids are bummed I can't help them with college, I'll have to explain that Mommy just wore some dope ass jewelery in the 2010s.

Fall's got me like "I'll eye fuck every dog, I don't care"

The lady at my bagel place: "You look so good! Like everytime. What is your secret?" Me: "EVERYTHING BAGELS"

Jamming out to Mom Songs while I make the bed. Is this what Happiness is?

Which one of y'all's Mom wrote Ricki and the Flash?

Wow, I can't believe it's finally here! Happy Minions Day to #1 Minions-maniac todddakotah! May today… instagram.com/p/49DT1dyI9Y/

What a Dreamboat! #horseboat #HelloJackpot instagram.com/p/4uuR9zyI0u/

Well, I can die now, or live forever. Both seem like reasonable responses to this.