Staying hydrated and using my left hand more for stuff like picking up basic household items.
Queensland, Australia
Joined December 2016
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Remember when chavs wore those adidas tracksuit bottoms with the buttons on the side. I bet they're all male strippers now.
I've been asking people if they're down with OPP. If they don't respond 'yeah, you know me' then I don't like them. 90s hip hop decides all.
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I just got Deep Heat on my lips and it's as awful as it sounds. Like I just ate a tub vapour rub ffs
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I love it when a couple of retired blokes bump into each other at a shopping centre. One of them always says something funny.
The last thing we need after covid-19 is Christmas. Can we just postpone it like euro 2020 or something
Let your new neighbours know you're chavs by getting a hot tub installed in your garden and listening to Drake.
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My girlfriend got adventurous and asked me to cuff her to the bed saying I could do what I want with her. So I shoved a sock in her mouth and went down the shed to continuing repairing my lawn mower
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Dominic Cummings and the PM's relationship is now the sitcom equivalent to the teenage daughter dating the guy with a motorcycle, cigarette and leather jacket ...
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Sat down with my Tinder date to watch a slasher movie. Ungrateful bitch doesn't like tractor attachments apparently. It was a side-throw too!
The next national applause should be for America for accepting James Corden, we are eternally grateful to for you taking the annoying gobshite off our hands.
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One good thing about the restrictions is celebrities are all realising how useless they actually are. Knowing their precious egos are having to cope with that whilst they're getting zero attention is very comforting
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If I ever find myself way down deep in the middle of a jungle, I'm not sure I'll be able to stop myself saying 'Um Bongo'. I'm simply not mature enough.
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