Will/Bill/Papa

Sunrises are more beautiful when your not awake to see them. #donteverhavechildren

Is weighing up the repercussions of answering a government work query with "nuh"

Ladies. If we start texting. Tell your husbands...I find it hard to prove I'm gay to your drunk husband at 1am. #1texthomewrecker

Sleepin pretty with my man passed out on the kitchen floor. #itsmondaytom #thatswherewomangoidiot

Twitter it not you it's me. Bye

That's if my gag reflex is still working...

The next person to cough on me on public transport, I'm going to put my fingers down my throat and vomit all over them. The end

Does anyone else feel like doing V? Or is just me?..?

Erk. Woke up still boozed. Bleh.

I thought I had forgotten how to rock the fuck out by myself. I was wrong.

Cocktail Monday! Here's to Alielah! Congrats E+A.

Dry Ice = awesome

Just ruined my fitness blast with apple pie for breakfast

Although this raspberry muffin may just turn things around

Just saw my first boyfriend in a porn video.

Ipads are awesome. There. I said it.

I just created the most awesome pizza menu ON THIS PLANET!

First night at the manner. As my incredible new housemate would say. What a delight.

I need a van stat