SharonChristine

I’m Not the Person I Used to Be. A reflection on grief, forgiveness, and God’s healing grace. Sometimes life takes us back to places we thought we had left behind. A memory, a conversation, or the news of someone’s passing can suddenly awaken emotions we haven’t felt in years. We find ourselves grieving not only the loss of someone, but also the things that were left unsaid, The relationships that were never restored, and the opportunities that will never come again. Recently, I found myself walking through such a season. As memories surfaced, so did feelings of sorrow, regret, disappointment, and even rejection. I began looking back at choices I had made, things I wish I had handled differently, and circumstances I could no longer change. But something became clear to me. I’m not the person I used to be. The person I was years ago didn’t have the wisdom, understanding, or spiritual maturity that God has developed in me today. And perhaps the same is true for the people who once hurt me. We sometimes remember people as they were when they wounded us, forgetting that they, too, may have grown and changed. I’ve learned that forgiveness doesn’t necessarily erase the memories, and healing doesn’t mean we’ll never cry over the past again. Sometimes healing means allowing ourselves to feel the sorrow without returning to the bitterness. It means acknowledging our mistakes without allowing them to define us. And it means trusting God with the things we cannot go back and make right. The Apostle Paul reminds us, Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before. I believe God can bring beauty even from our most painful chapters. There may be relationships we cannot restore, conversations we’ll never have, and questions that remain unanswered. But an unfinished chapter does not mean God is finished writing our story. Perhaps one of the greatest gifts of growing older is discovering that we can look back with tears, acknowledge both the blessings and the regrets, and still look forward with hope. Today I choose to remember the lessons, cherish the blessings, extend grace, and trust the Lord with what remains unresolved. Because by His grace, I’m not the person I used to be. And He’s not finished with me yet. He which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ. Have you ever discovered that something you thought you had healed from still brought tears to your eyes? Perhaps those tears aren’t a sign that you’ve gone backward, but an invitation to see how far God has brought you. *I posted the whole song in the comments.