CAUTION: May contain sarcasm. And occasional irony. Traces of facetiousness. Outright lies guaranteed.
Romford and sometimes The City
Joined November 2009
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Really enjoying #PokerFace’s Knives Out meets Fargo meets Columbo vibe. Always fun to watch Natasha Lyonne playing that Natasha Lyonne character too. – at Romford, London
I’m just glad to see a government commit resources to solving the problem of desperate people paying thousands of pounds to unscrupulous crooks so that they can attempt a dangerous sea journey in an unsafe vessel. – at Romford, London
I investigate employee misconduct for a living.
Last week someone resigned rather than face the disciplinary hearing resulting for our investigation.
It was simultaneously a clear admission of guilt and a transparent attempt to avoid the consequences of their own actions. – at Romford, London
When we’d been married 10 or 12 years I used to joke that if I’d done a murder instead I’d be up for parole about then.
Now we’ve been married so long I’m like one of those old lags who knows he couldn’t survive on the outside. The world has changed too much while I’ve been away. – at Romford, London
Exam question: if it takes 1 person 2 hours to dig a hole, how long will it take 5 people to make a fucking coffee in Starbucks? – at Romford, London
Genuinely wondering how long it’ll be before I start thinking of the Lockdown Years of 2020 and 2021 as the best years of my life. – at Romford, London
Ted Lasso S2 E9 is the perfect example of why it’s better to binge tv shows several episodes at a time instead of one per week. I cannot imagine how it must have felt waiting a week to watch your favourite show and then sitting through that. – at Romford, London