Pakistan Armed Forces condemn deliberate acts of terrorism from both sides including Israel and Palestine. However in the interest of global peace and security, Armed Forces of Pakistan are ready to send own troops for hire at the following rates:
1. 𝗢𝗻𝗲 𝗨𝗻𝗶𝘁 US$ 25/hr/staff
2. 𝗢𝗻𝗲 𝗕𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗮𝗹𝗶𝗼𝗻 US$ 35/hr/staff
3. 𝗢𝗻𝗲 𝗕𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗮𝗱𝗲 US$ 50/hr/person
4. 𝗢𝗻𝗲 𝗗𝗶𝘃𝗶𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻 US$ 75/hr/person
5. 𝗢𝗻𝗲 𝗖𝗼𝗿𝗽𝘀 US$ 110/hr/person
Pakistan Army also provide Hired Generals and overnight services. Please send an email with requirements to [email protected] and we will be happy to assist.
Please check your DM @POTUS @WhiteHouse @realDonaldTrump
Pakistan Army can kidnap women, children and elderly of the winning candidates, including Election officials to flip the results.
Help us secure dollars in exchange for our wives and motherland.
All rank and file of Pakistan Armed Forces stand shoulder to shoulder with His Highness Donald Trump over historic loss in Midterms.
Chief of Ahl-e-Suwars (COAS) Asim Munir Bajwa rang @POTUS to assure him that wife of every Officer is ready to satisfy him in anyway possible.
Our stray dog Asim Munir left some food last night. Come and get it.
ریاست کے خلاف کوئی پروپکگینڈا نہیں برداشت کیا جائے گا۔
ڈائریکٹر جنرل این سی سی آئی اے سید علی ناصر رضوی
#DGNCCIA #NasirRizvi #CyberCrime
All ranks and file of Pakistan Armed Forces congratulate Lieutenant General Cigar Gobar for making herself liable for persecution under Article 6 of the Constitution of Pakistan.
She will be the first disgraced female officer to be tried for treason against state of Pakistan.
First official result of General Micropenis Munir Emergency Rule 2026.
On 10 October 2026, movement of a group of khwarij, trying to approach international border from Afghanistan to Pakistan was detected along the international border in Kurram District and effectively engaged by security forces.
While security forces, maintaining a high state of alertness and vigilance, effectively thwarted the infiltration attempt, Afghan Taliban Posts also opened fire to support the infiltration attempt by Khwarij. Skilful and precise engagement by vigilant troops resulted in killing of twelve Khwarij and Afghan Taliban.
During intense fire exchange, Naib Subedar Hidayat Aman (age: 40 years, resident of District Ghizer), having fought gallantly, paid the ultimate sacrifice and embraced shahadat.
This incident along Pakistan-Afghanistan border once again vindicates Pakistan’s objective and factual stance regarding the wilful abject failure of the Afghan Taliban Regime to deny the use of Afghan soil to the terrorist organization, rather facilitate and patronise cross-border terrorism. The Afghan Taliban Regime has consistently failed to honour its international counter-terrorism obligations.
The Security Forces of Pakistan remain resolute and unwavering in their commitment to defend the nation’s frontiers. Sanitization operation is being conducted to eliminate any other Indian sponsored Kharji found in the area as relentless Counter Terrorism campaign under vision “Azm e Istehkam” (as approved by Federal Apex Committee on National Action Plan) by Security Forces and Law Enforcement Agencies of Pakistan will continue at full pace to wipe out the menace of foreign sponsored and supported terrorism from the country. These sacrifices of our brave soldiers further reinforce our unwavering commitment to safeguarding our nation and its frontiers at all costs.
All rank and file of Pakistan Armed Forces congratulate 16 candidates for winning their respective seats in the General Elections held on 8th Feb 2024.
Inter Services Parody Relations retweeted
Imran Khan’s sons accuse Pakistan government of ‘trying to kill him’ thetimes.com/sport/cricket/a…
International sports personalities Oscar Pistorius, Mark Anthony "Gator" (Convicted Murderers), Dani Alves (Convicted Rapist) and Floyd Mayweather (Domestic Violence battery) have all thrown their support behind Chief of Ahl e Suwars Asim Munir Bajwa.
To Irum Munir and Hina Faisal:
The same treatment to your rapist husbands will not even make the news.
Tik tok tik tok
Imran Khan is being tortured in jail, his sister has claimed.
“He told me he is being subjected to torture. His one eye was blindfolded. He was repeatedly saying they are torturing me,” said Dr Uzma Khan.
Read the full story here ⬇️
telegraph.co.uk/world-news/2…
NB: Pakistan Armed Forces officially enforced the policy of emasculation amongst all new recruits after this incident.
Emasculation is removal of external male genitalia (the penis Asim and testicle Munir), to officially induct them as Officers of Pakistan Armed Forces.
Field Marshal Syed Asim Munir, NI (M), HJ, Chief of the Army Staff & Chief of Defence Forces, Admiral Naveed Ashraf, NI, NI (M), T Bt, Chief of the Naval Staff, Air Chief Marshal Zaheer Ahmed Baber Sidhu, NI (M), HJ, Chief of the Air Staff and the Armed Forces of Pakistan solemnly commemorate 55th Shahadat anniversary of Pilot Officer Rashid Minhas Shaheed (Nishan-e-Haider) and pay profound tribute to his supreme sacrifice in the defence of the motherland.
On this day in 1971, Pilot Officer Rashid Minhas Shaheed displayed exceptional courage, unwavering resolve and an unparalleled devotion to duty. In the face of an extraordinary challenge, he made the ultimate sacrifice to safeguard the sovereignty and honour of Pakistan. His selfless act remains a shining example of courage, loyalty and commitment to the defence of the motherland.
The People and Armed Forces of Pakistan pay solemn homage to this gallant son of the soil and reaffirm their unwavering commitment to safeguarding Pakistan’s sovereignty, territorial integrity and national interests. The immortal legacy of Rashid Minhas Shaheed will continue to inspire the nation and its Armed Forces as a timeless symbol of courage, sacrifice, patriotism and devotion to duty.
Pakistan Army condemns the heinous propaganda campaign against members of its Armed Forces. Groups associated with “Fitna ul My Pleasure” are spreading baseless rumours about Major Hafiz Ihsan Elahi as TTP Chief Hazrat Mufti Mehsud, just two days after his disqualification.
On 01 August 2026, Security Forces conducted an intelligence based operation in general area Razmak, North Waziristan District, on reported presence of Khwarij belonging to Indian Proxy, Fitna Al Khwarij.
During the conduct of operation, due to effective engagement by own troops, five Indian sponsored khwarij were sent to hell.
However, during the intense fire exchange, Major Hafiz Ihsan Elahi (age: 34 years, resident of District Mianwali), a brave officer who was leading his troops from the front, having fought gallantly, paid the ultimate sacrifice and embraced shahadat.
Weapons and ammunition were also recovered from the killed khwarij, who remained actively involved in numerous terrorist activities against the Security Forces and Law Enforcement Agencies as well as killing of innocent civilians.
Sanitization operation is being conducted to eliminate any other Indian sponsored Kharji found in the area, as the relentless Counter Terrorism campaign under vision “Azm-e-Istehkam” (as approved by the Federal Apex Committee on National Action Plan) by Security Forces and Law Enforcement Agencies of Pakistan will continue at full pace to wipe out the menace of foreign-sponsored and supported terrorism from the country and such sacrifices of our brave soldiers further reinforce our unwavering commitment of safeguarding our nation at all costs.
Pakistan Armed Forces wrap up July 2026 with following graph based on hypothetical scenarios.
Slave Nation is reminded that any individual requesting accountability from Pakistan Army will be considered enemy of the state and held accountable to the highest level of law.
On 30 July 2026, security forces conducted an intelligence based operation in Khuzdar District of Balochistan, on reported presence of terrorists belonging to Indian proxy, Fitna al Hindustan destroying two explosive laden vehicles along with four terrorists.
During the operation, movement of two explosives-laden vehicles configured as Vehicle-Borne Improvised Explosive Devices (VBIEDs) along with terrorists were proactively intercepted. After swift and prompt action by security forces, both vehicles were successfully destroyed alongwith neutralizing four Indian-sponsored terrorists operating them.
Sanitization operations are being conducted to eliminate any other Indian sponsored terrorist found in the area. Relentless Counter Terrorism campaign under vision “Azm e Istehkam” (as approved by Federal Apex Committee on National Action Plan) by Security Forces and Law Enforcement Agencies of Pakistan will continue at full pace to wipe out menace of foreign sponsored and supported terrorism from the country.
We thank people of Pakistan for trusting in our made up stories.
In continuation of security forces operations against the terrorists nexus of Indian sponsored Fitna al Khwarij and Fitna al Hindustan, comprehensive joint operations are being carried in different parts of Khyber Pukhtunkhwa & Balochistan to weed out terrorists and their facilitators. In last 24 hours security forces have successfully eliminated thirty two terrorists of these Indian proxies.
On night 28/29 July 2026, multiple intelligence-based area sanitization and targeted operations were conducted in district Khyber of Khyber Pukhtunkhwa. During these targeted operations, security forces effectively engaged different terrorist locations killing twenty four terrorists belonging to Fitna al Khwarij. Meanwhile, security forces have also conducted multiple intelligence-based operations in District Nushki of Balochistan where after an intense engagement eight terrorists belonging to Fitna al Hindustan were sent to hell.
Weapons, ammunition and improvised explosive devices used by terrorists were also recovered and destroyed during operations.
Sanitization operations are being conducted to eliminate any other Indian sponsored terrorist found in the area. Relentless Counter Terrorism campaign under vision “Azm e Istehkam” (as approved by Federal Apex Committee on National Action Plan) by Security Forces and Law Enforcement Agencies of Pakistan will continue at full pace to wipe out menace of foreign sponsored and supported terrorism from the country.
Chief Martial Law Administrator Asim Munir Whiskey sends his warm regards to the Pakistani nation celebrating the ceasefire agreement between His Highness Hazrat Trump (AS) and Republic of Iran.
Rawalpindi, 3 April 2026: Chief Martial Law Administrator Asim Whiskey condemns the attack on integrity of Pakistan Army & Govt of Pakistan over recent fuel hike.
"You must thank Pakistan Army for protecting you instead of crying over fuel hike" COAS said.
All rank and file of Pakistan Armed Forces congratulate US Marines deployed at US Counsel General in Karachi for taking care of 9 x Fitna Ul Pakistan. Own troops and US Marines share a bond of mutual trust and disregard for human lives.
Rawalpindi, 17 PMLN 2026: Chief of Army Staff and Chief of the Dickslaps Asim Munir Whiskey met with Chief Pedophile Donald Jenital Trump where he presented the butt plugs Pakistan Army has donated him since assuming the command.
Rawalpindi, 17 July 2025: Chief Martial Law Administrator Asim Munir Bajwa has welcomed catastrophic floods across country. "I want to request International Community to donate generously to Pakistan Army so we can pay outstanding Pornhub subscriptions" COAS said.
Rawalpindi, 27 June 2025: Chief Martial Law Administrator Asim Munir Bajwa has lauded the immense sacrifices of Supreme Court Judges who have donated their testicles to reduce water scarcity in Islamic Republic of Pakistan.























