Ashley Swank

There's nothing more deceiving then when a jar of pickles say they're crunchy and they're not!!

Mama ain't raised no bitch.

They could've been a little bit nicer about it but w/e. There's always next year.

I thought about going running and it's weird how I immediately got a side ache.

Hey @CBS, I was watching the #Vikings win. Way to ruin my Sunday plans.

I'm glad I was able to watch the last 50 seconds of the Seahawks Jaguars game.

Is it weird to want to eat soup for breakfast?? #toodamncold

The chiropractor said no working out! Not like I was anyway but now it's doctor approved.

I get chills every time I hear "House of the Rising Sun"

I am very impressed but also slightly embarrassed that the lady at Starbucks remembers my name.

Got my hands on some old vhs tapes with my dance/piano recitals on them. All I have to say is bless my parents hearts for going to every single one of them. They're the real MVPs.

I really need to go to @TheEllenShow during the #12daysofgiveaways

If we're not officially dating and you kiss my cheek after dinner then I'm not interested. You're probably out of my league and I'm okay with that.

Apparently Costco keeps track of how many cards you've lost. Oops.

All I have to say about Chris Hemsworth's body is DAMN

How much do you wanna bet that all these college kids dressing up as Tom Cruise have never seen 'Risky Business'

A little girl just saw a picture of Glenn Campbell and asked if he's Elvis Presley. I'm worried for our youth.

Greetings from my dog when I come home will never get old.

Me listening to the #Hamilton soundtrack in work today. Shoutout to Dr. D. At least he gets me.

Currently all I can think about is wanting to go to at least 2, maybe 3, Blazer games this season. #goals 😂