Kimberly Fowler

The fun thing about the Hunger Games is that the cat doesn’t die. Just everyone else does.

Never again will I choose to save my money by decreasing my quality of toilet paper.

Stop asking about weekends on Mondays. No one wants to talk about how they wish it never ended.

I’m commandeering the phrase “do it scared” and making it “do it tired” “do it depressed” “do it lazily”

You can call it illegal

I’m just like every other bitch. And proud of it.

So funny

It’s a good night to watch Stepford Wives and remember men are still trash.

Thank god I’m on dogs seeing backyards of their owners new homes for the first time tik tok.

Mom was a scare crow and skeleton Halloween person, and I am a witch and black cat Halloween person. Still plenty of skulls to go around.

Me rolling into my 31st year on this earth with new teeth, new boobs, new hair - a brand new bitch

It’s a special kind of hurt when your own cat runs from you for no reason.

Would rather rip my toe nails out than use a voice memo on a dating app.