@_skporter

Alaska/ Texas

Joined October 2011
  • Tweets1.8K
  • Following272
  • Followers177
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Sarah Porter retweeted
Netflix
@netflix12 Jan 2018
The Office is: a. A great show b. A ruthless prison that keeps me from ever watching new things c. All of the above
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Sarah Porter retweeted
Zach@TweetsWithZach4 Jan 2018
*Swipes card to pump gas in -10 weather* Is this a debit card? Enter zip code Would you like a car wash? Would you like a receipt? Plans for next weekend? Cats or dogs? Where'd you get that shirt? Are you single? JUST PUMP THE GAS
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Sarah Porter retweeted
Sean Lowe@SeanLowe094 Jan 2018
This is the best thing you’ll watch all day. xitter.cf/haroldhilton22/status/…
Harold Hilton Jr.@HaroldHilton224 Jan 2018
just watch 😂
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It's 2039. You live with your beautiful wife and 3 children. It's a Saturday, you have "clean garage" on your to-do list, you find a box titled "memories", you open it.. You find an old water bottle, you blow the dust off of it. It's your hydro flask.. it still has ice in it – at Layton, UT
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Sarah Porter retweeted
Shmadds@PineappleyMadds16 Dec 2017
My mom suggested to my dad that they get an artificial tree this year, and he wasn’t too thrilled 😂😂😂
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Sarah Porter retweeted
Big Papi@Bmangall2013 Dec 2017
My coworker told me he got banned from a bar when he lived in North Dakota back in 1973 and didn’t try going back to it for 30 years but he finally did and the moment he stepped in someone yelled “Get the hell out of here Dennis” And that’s probably my favorite story ever
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Sarah Porter retweeted
Alex Tumay@alextumay24 Oct 2017
Bad news: I accidentally washed a nice wool shirt that I really loved and it shrunk a LOT Good news:
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Sarah Porter retweeted
Sean Lowe@SeanLowe0920 Oct 2017
Making eye contact with your dog before leaving the house & seeing the sadness in their eyes is the worst.
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Sarah Porter retweeted
Sean Lowe@SeanLowe0916 Oct 2017
You ever wonder what kind of shoes Jesus would wear if he were here today? I see him as a New Balance guy.
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Sarah Porter retweeted
hat man@greeneggsnSam1225 Feb 2017
Owner: *pretends to throw ball* Dog: *runs after it, comes back* Owner: *takes ball from behind his back* Dog:
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6. This is what I'm referencing whenever I say wow vine.co/v/O2AlKFazThU
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20. NOOOOO vine.co/v/i0qapF0q5nJ
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21. Only the coolest can get it vine.co/v/MFFihIBAOtg
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5. FUCK KYLE vine.co/v/e3l6Qe7nYZH
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Impress her
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Is there honestly any better feelin than hearin ur dogs wee paws tappin off the floor after u shout their name to come see u? A think not – at Ayr, Scotland
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